Finally
by Lost in Day Dreams
Summary: Set in the Golden/Beyer relaunch novel universe. After years of protocols, parameters, dangers, and disasters, Kathryn and Chakotay finally get their happy ending. So much fluff it might just float away...
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer** (for this and all subsequent chapters): I own nothing, it all belongs to Paramount. For the moment I am just the temporary puppeteer.

 **Author's Note** : Hello there! My name is not immediately recognizable to this section for good reason: this is my very first Voyager fic. I'm a fairly new fan, I first came to the series through loving Kate Mulgrew on "Orange is the New Black" but immediately fell in love with Voyager after being an avoider of most science fiction shows most of my life. It didn't take long after that to become a diehard J/Cer, their chemistry is amazing and their love story adorable. So sad that it wasn't allowed to flourish during the show, but that's what makes me so grateful for the Golden/Beyer relaunch novels. I know their not technically considered canon but hey, they follow the books written by one of the creators of the show so that is definitely canon enough for me!

That having been said, I do love the relaunch books but holy bejeebas have they gotten a tad bit depressing! It seems like poor Kathryn and Chakotay can't catch a break in them. To that end, I decided to write this little idea to give them the happy ending I think they deserve, before Atonement comes out and possibly continues with the angst. Not that I have any problem with angst, but I think it's about time for some happy times for our favorite couple. So I wrote this to fix everything up not only with J/C but with some of the other relationships that I was sad to see fall by the way side (Kathryn/Tuvok, Kathryn/Q, etc.). Obviously there will be some spoilers and references to the relaunch novels (Homecoming through Acts of Contrition) and there are also a couple of references to the String Theory trilogy (which is technically a part of the universe since it was mentioned briefly in Eternal Tide and if you haven't read them, I recommend it! Seriously great J/C moments, especially in the part written by Beyer) and one tiny reference to the Star Trek Myriad Universe novel. The story can be enjoyed without knowing the novels in depth, but it definitely helps to have read them.

Oh and I didn't bother going into detail about how they got Kathryn back after she was kidnapped by that tribune led by Kashyk in the end of Acts of Contrition. I'm sure it'll be resolved way better than anything I can come up with in Atonement and admittedly I'm not all that up to speed on exactly what is up with that whole situation (my mind is only able to fully wrap itself around the J/C parts of the books, hee hee!) so please just assume they got her back in an awesomely dramatic fashion and everyone gets home safely.

Oh and one more note! This story is complete because I didn't want to risk going back to work in the fall and not having time to finish it, and admittedly it's way longer than I anticipated. So please, feel free to peruse at your leisure. :)

And now I apologize for this incredibly long author's note and shall now leave you to your reading. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Kathryn Janeway is being lazy.

Which is miraculous, really. In all her 46 years of life, the name 'Kathryn Janeway' and 'lazy' never occupied the same realm, let alone the same sentence. She has always been an over-achiever, determined to be the very best in all that she did, even if it meant sacrificing things like leisure and personal pleasures.

But now, as Kathryn stretches languidly but cautiously, ever mindful of the strong, tan arm thrown across her midsection, she looks over at the chronometer on her nightstand to see that it is already well after 1000 hours, and yet she has no intention of getting up from her cozy haven of warm comforters and an even warmer bedmate.

Kathryn looks over at Chakotay and smiles at his still sleeping form. They've been occasionally sleeping in late like this for about two months now, and it's probably the longest amount of time either one of them has had the luxury of such late mornings in their entire lives. But ever since they returned from that fateful second trip to the Delta Quadrant to try and negotiate a treaty between the native alien species in the quadrant they had unintentionally come to know so very well, it seems only appropriate that they be allowed this brief respite from their usual workaholic ways.

Because just like many times during their first foray into the unknown regions of space, this mission had also been an unqualified disaster. They barely managed to get Kathryn back from the grasps of a coalition of hostile aliens that blamed her for their many plights, Kashyk being chief among them, before she was to be unceremoniously executed for their twisted pleasure. After that, Starfleet decided to pull back the troops until new negotiations and uses for the latest slipstream drive technology could be devised.

She heard rumors of using it to return to the Delta Quadrant yet _again_ , but this time for mostly goodwill missions to struggling species. She could possibly get behind that project, but frankly she is still a bit miffed at how this past mission had gone down. She had been against going back to the Delta Quadrant to begin with, had vehemently railed against it at the various HQ meetings, had even sacrificed her own life exploring that damn Borg cube just to ensure that there would be no need to send her loved ones back to the quadrant that had been so intent on killing them the first time around. Why should the second time have been any different?

Kathryn sighs, quietly of course. She hates it when her mind takes her to these dark places, even after two months has passed of the three-month leave she and Chakotay were granted upon their return. Aside from that three month stint at her mother's house when her abilities to command the Full Circle fleet were being questioned, she hadn't had any real break from her Starfleet duties since even before that initial fateful trip to the Badlands some eleven years ago. And she certainly never got a chance to spend it alone with the man she loved. She'll be damned if she lets stray negative thoughts like the ones she was just having creep up on her again, threatening to drag her back to that place of constant angst and guilt she had fought so hard to finally get past after all she has been through. She found peace and love, a peace and love she finally convinced herself she deserves. Now she fully intends on enjoying it. And enjoying it she most definitely is.

Kathryn smiles at that thought and surreptitiously scoots closer to Chakotay's side, careful not to wake him. She feels him stir, but only to pull her flush against him, back to chest, and burrow his head in her hair while mumbling something unintelligible. She sighs in pure bliss, content to revel in this moment for as long as it will last, just as she has every moment since this rare opportunity of alone time was granted to them.

Well, _almost_ every moment.

The first few days after their return from the Delta Quadrant, they had been so busy with meetings and debriefings that they hardly had a chance to talk in depth with one another about all that they had been through, and Kathryn hadn't really minded all that much. She knew once things slowed down and they were finally left alone, there was a very good chance that they were going to be in for one hell of a fight.

And oh boy was it ever a fight.

Starfleet had finally decided to recognize them as a legitimate couple and not some scandalous affair to be kept in the dark, so per their request they had issued them both just one large apartment near headquarters. Kathryn was thrilled, they had discussed and agreed that separate quarters were unnecessary since they were both committed to making this relationship permanent, and she was happy that they were able to get their new living arrangement settled so soon. But the moment the doors closed to their new quarters and they were at last alone as a real couple, the tension mounted to almost warp core breach level.

Then the yelling had started.

Chakotay went off first, and as she knew he would, and now she admits she really can't blame him. He railed against her for sacrificing herself yet again to forces that were intent on killing her. Chastised her for not even stopping to think about what it would do to him after spending those fourteen months thinking she was dead, or not even considering how many other people would have been willing to take her place to keep her safe.

Still, even though the more logical part of her knew he was just lashing out at her out of residual worry, grief, and fear, she was not one to be outdone, and so she shot right back, telling him he was being blinded by his emotions and that deep down he knew she had no other choice. To not go would have been selfish, and something she could not abide.

It snowballed from there rather quickly. Names were thrown that were just a toe above too harsh, accusations were made that crossed the line into unfair.

And it didn't just stop at the latest mission. Riley, Kashyk, Scorpion, Equinox, Seven, it was all thrown down like virtual gauntlets between them. Even things that they had promised each other they had understood, like his brainwashed assassination attempt against her when he was controlled by Teero, or her getting assimilated by that Borg cube in an attempt to spare them all, were thrown up as weapons against one another again, splicing open old wounds only to have them bleed out as screams and curses at each other.

When all was said and done, silence followed. They had thrown out every old hurt, brought up every pain each had caused the other, until there was nothing left but quietly simmering rage and the lingering question of what now?

Looking back, Kathryn knew it was all a long time coming. They never _really_ got a chance to bring up all these things with each other in that painfully honest way that's needed to finally get past them. It was cathartic really, to be so open and honest with each other. She found the rage slowly ebbing out of her, even if she wasn't ready to show it yet.

But then had she noticed something. Chakotay wasn't really looking at her anymore, at least not at her eyes. His gaze had dropped down to her chest, which was heaving from the exertion of yelling and all the pacing she had been doing while yelling, then it had raked down the length of her figure and finally back up to her eyes. A new fire burned in his own eyes, not born of the anger he had had for her, but a whole other kind that she had become very familiar with ever since Proxima.

"Chakotay," she had practically growled.

"Damn you, Kathryn," he had growled right back. Then before she knew it, he had had her crushed up against a wall, and they were kissing as if they were trying to devour each other whole. Clothes were ripped off in indecent haste, then Kathryn had vaguely registered herself being swept up into his arms even as their searing exploration of each other's mouths never ceased. He practically tossed her on the bed and pounced on her, instantly silencing any logical voices in her mind that said they still had a bit of discussing left to do.

They made love as they had never had before. Fiercely. Achingly. They clung to each other as if even when connected they couldn't get close enough, like they wanted to climb completely inside of each other and reside whole bodily in there right along with their each other's hearts and souls. Kathryn had known for some time now how completely she loved this man who was ravaging her, but for the first time she realized just how desperately he loved her back, more than she thought she could ever deserve. The realization was transcendent, and it took her to heights of ecstasy that brought tears cascading down her cheeks when it was over. She clung to her lover, her life, and tried to quell them before he thought he had done something wrong. But they were dripping onto Chakotay's chest in rapid succession as he soothed her with gentle caresses.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," he choked, his own tears hitting her hair. "I'm sorry for every damn thing I said." Kathryn shook her head in protest.

"Please don't be. We said everything we needed to say to each other to finally move forward. To be completely ourselves. I never want you to regret that, Chakotay. I never want you to be afraid to be honest with me."

"Neither do I, Kathryn." He sighed. "It's just so hard after so many years of hiding from you. From my feelings for you."

"I know, and I'm sorry for that too. I know it was mostly my fault. Me and my damn parameters…"

"It was both our faults, Kathryn. I understood your reasons while on _Voyager,_ especially after that night in Venice on the holodeck. But I should have tried harder after we got back. I had promised myself very early into our journey that I would be the first in line over the walls of your heart when we got back home. Instead I spent the better part of a year too terrified that you'd reject me to even try."

"That's not entirely true. You also spent it flirting with that captain I had to use my Admiralty clout to keep from sniffing around you anymore," she teased to break some of the tension. She gave him that crooked smile she knew he loved and he chuckled.

"I always thought that abrupt course change for her ship seemed a little too convenient," Chakotay joked feebly, then he sighed. "One of the things that kept running through my mind those fourteen months that I lost you was how much time we wasted. I hated everything for it. Myself. The Delta Quadrant. Starfleet. Seven. Even that damn Yaris Nebula that kept me from spending every night with you after that first night."

Kathryn swallowed hard as her own regrets came back full force. "I'm so sorry, Chakotay."

"You don't have to be sorry. I know that by exploring that Borg cube you were just trying to protect us, to protect me, the only way you knew how. I may have been angry with you at first, but it's only because I realized something…"

He paused for so long that Kathryn thought he wasn't going to tell her. Then he took in a deep breath.

"I realized that even if I lived a hundred lifetimes with you, it still wouldn't be enough."

She gasped at the lovely confession and clung to him even tighter. "I know exactly what you mean," she whispered into his neck as he dropped kisses into her hair.

"But I meant what I said to you back on New Earth," Chakotay told her. "I won't sacrifice the present waiting for a future that might not ever happen. It goes for the good and the bad. I'll always be terrified of losing you, Kathryn. You own too much of me to keep that from going away. But getting to be here right now, holding you, making love to you, even after losing you for too long, it's the greatest gift I could ever ask for. I refuse to let anything get in the way of this happiness. I just want to be with you, for as long as the Spirits will let me. It may never be enough, but I'll make it enough."

She was crying in earnest then, overcome by the depth and breadth of her own feelings for this man. This wonderful man who saw every bit of her and still wanted to be with her always, and she with him. She couldn't imagine any other way she wanted to spend the remainder of her days. Being with him would be more than enough for her too.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him until the need for air couldn't be ignored, then looked deeply into his eyes. "You have me, Chakotay. My love. My body. My soul. You have all of me." His eyes shone with love and tears as he grinned that beautiful dimpled grin of his.

"Always?" he asked her. She grinned right back.

"Always."

* * *

Chakotay smiles surreptitiously as a warm, wiggly body scoots ever closer to him, obviously trying to be sneaky about it out of courtesy to what she presumes to be her still slumbering partner. He stirs only slightly and takes the opportunity to fit Kathryn more snuggly against him before sighing and continuing his deep breathing so she won't suspect that he's been awake for a lot longer than she has. If she catches on she'll wake up fully, and then she'll want coffee. Coffee is in the kitchen, not here in Chakotay's arms. That just won't do.

So he happily clings to her and lets her sigh and wriggle around all she wants while pretending to still be asleep. He knows he only has fifteen minutes tops before she gets truly restless and wakes him up. He doesn't blame her, really. These late, lazy mornings are so out-of-character for them both, and he's sure if they'd been forced to take more than three months of it they would both go stir-crazy eventually. But after years of constant work and stress and pressure, he's extremely grateful for this brief respite and thinks they should take full advantage of it before their hectic work lives start up again, her especially given her Herculean work ethic. If getting her to relax for as long as she can means holding her hostage from her liquid vice, so be it. Not that he hates having to hold her anyway. Quite the opposite actually.

A restless Kathryn turns slowly in his arms and begins to trail mischievous fingers up and down his bare chest. It takes every ounce of Chakotay's self-control not to grin outright, wanting to enjoy the feel of her loving ministrations a little while longer. They've been an exclusive couple for almost three years now, technically, if you included those fourteen horrible months that she had been "dead", but the thrill of having her in his bed and heart freely still hasn't even come close to fading, and in quiet times like these where he is surrounded by her intimacy, he is instantly transported back to where it all began.

The memory plays itself like a holovid in Chakotay's mind. He remembers exactly how Kathryn looked in the glow of the candlelight across his table on Proxima Station. He remembers the feel of her soft hand in his as he stood up and looked into her eyes, deciding once and for all to take the plunge into loving her fully and completely. He remembers her whispered words hazily puncturing the last of his coherent thoughts before he silenced her with a kiss, a kiss that was all at once deliciously familiar from their holographic Venice date years earlier but at the same time tantalizing new.

Chakotay remembers how tentative they had both been at first, each probably still afraid that the other would pull away at the last minute, at least that had been the fear on his part. But he also remembers the exact moment where it truly registered in his mind that Kathryn wasn't pushing him away, that she wasn't going to hide behind duty and protocol, that the Spirits had finally, _finally_ blessed him with more than he had dared to ask for in a long, long time. Once her hands had found their way under the simple tunic he wore to touch the quivering skin of his back, he was a man lost forever.

Clothes went flying everywhere quickly after that, and he had swept Kathryn up into his arms like he had dreamed of doing a thousand times before and carried her into his bedroom. There was one last moment of hesitation after he laid her down on his bed and loomed over her, wanting to be absolutely certain that she wanted to take it that far so soon after their official confirmation of deeper feelings. She saw it immediately and gave him that crooked grin he would love forever, then pulled him down to her for a kiss that seared away all other thoughts but to show her all the love he had held for her for the better part of a decade.

After the first time, no words were spoken. Instead they lay on their sides, staring into each other's eyes and grinning like fools. Chakotay couldn't seem to stop touching her. He stroked her hair, her face, her arms, any part he could reach until the need to claim her again overwhelmed him and they made love a second time, more slowly than the first but in no way less passionate. Afterwards, Kathryn sighed deeply and snuggled into his arms.

"You know what's strange?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"How strange this doesn't feel."

"You expected this to feel strange?"

"Well, I wouldn't say _strange_ , per say," she corrected herself. "Perhaps a bit more….unusual."

"I'm starting to think you were presuming I had some strange deformity or something," Chakotay teased, and she giggled.

"Unexpected, I guess I should say then. Like something seismic should have shifted when we finally got together. Or perhaps something should have felt awkward. But it doesn't."

"No, it doesn't," he agreed as he pulled her ever closer.

"It feels like I should have been here all along."

"Because you should have."

Kathryn twisted and propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. "But you know why we couldn't in the Delta Quadrant, right? I mean….you understand why…"

He kissed her before she could go too far down that familiar line of guilt-riddled thinking. "I do, Kathryn, I swear to you that I do. No anger or hidden resentments, I promise."

She grinned. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Fix what I'm going to worry about before I even worry about it?"

"Years of practice."

She smiled. "Worth the effort?"

Chakotay grinned and pulled the sheets away until her naked form was revealed to him yet again. "Most definitely."

The next few hours after that were a tizzy of delightful sensations for Chakotay. They made love. They talked. They laughed. They planned for Venice. But even though he is certain he will never forget that night, he also has a hard time recalling very specific details. He was so lost in a happy haze that the few hours they had together flew by in what seemed like minutes. He knows that they had fallen asleep at some point, though he can't remember exactly when, but he does remember with perfect clarity the burst of pure elation he had when he opened his eyes to see Kathryn's face in all it's wonderful beauty, her gorgeous blue eyes already staring back at him….but then instantly sobering when he registered the sadness they held.

"What's wrong, honey?" Chakotay asked, reaching out to stroke a lock of hair.

"It's after 0500. My shuttle leaves at 0630."

Sadness descended on him too like a heavy blanket.

"You'll be gone for a year," she told him needlessly.

"I know."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know."

"But I have to."

Chakotay sighed deeply. "I know that too."

She gave him a small smile. "You seem to know a lot this morning."

"You want to know something else I know?" He pulled her against him and started peppering light kisses on her lips.

"Hmm?"

"Last night was the best night of my life. And even though these next ten months will be the longest and probably dullest months of said life, the joy that being with you brought me will most definitely help me get through them." He grinned at her lecherously then. "As will memories of all this," he concluded as he gestured to her naked form. She grinned and punched him lightly.

"Dirty old man."

"Guilty as charged."

Kathryn laughed then, and Chakotay was happy he could make her, but she sobered again and started stroking his arm.

"You'll comm me, won't you?"

"Every chance I get," he promised.

"And you'll stay safe?"

"As safe as Tuvok is from Ferengi persuasion techniques."

"And you'll refrain from falling in love with any other intriguing former starship captains?" He chuckles.

"After being captured by the most intriguing and most beautiful former captains of them all, why would I bother?"

They had started kissing in earnest then and were just about to get lost in each other yet again when the thoughtless computer interrupted.

" _The time is 0530."_

"Damn," Kathryn muttered as she broke off a kiss and started getting up. "I asked the computer last night to warn me when it was 0530 in case we were otherwise….. _distracted_."

"A dirty trick if I ever saw one, Kathryn." Chakotay sat up too and watched as she flurried around the room, gathering up strewn articles of clothing and looking for her little travel case.

"I'm going to grab a quick shower then maybe we'll have time to at least have breakfast before I have to go."

"You know what'd really save time?" Chakotay asked, mustering his best innocent tone. "Showering together."

Kathryn paused in her clothes-gathering mission to level him a raised quizzical eyebrow. "Really? And tell me, Captain, how does this proposal of yours save us time, exactly?"

"Well, Admiral," he began seriously, "the way I see it, after you'd shower, _I'd_ have to shower and that would mean _you_ would have to replicate breakfast."

"A dangerous proposition," she replied in an equally serious tone.

"Indeed. And a proposition that would most likely result in some sort of roaring blaze, which would no doubt set off the internal sensors and alert a security team. Then they would have to come and rescue us from the inferno, and we'd be forced to fill out reports on the incident. Then, of course, we would have to retreat to my ready room and replicate you and I new uniforms, and an edible breakfast, and I'm more than certain all of this would culminate into you being tardy for your scheduled shuttle departure."

"More than likely."

"Plus, showering together now would save me the trouble of having to ravage you at the breakfast table later."

They both gave way to their grins after that. Kathryn dropped her clothes by the door and made a sweeping gesture towards the bathroom door.

"Then by all means, Captain, save me the time."

"Aye, Admiral." Chakotay leapt out of bed, grabbed Kathryn by her wrist, and pulled her into the bathroom as she giggled in delight. As it turned out, breakfast after that had to be a short affair.

When they were finished, they stopped just short of activating the doors and kissed ardently. Chakotay knew she had to leave, but after having her in all the ways he had always dreamed, and knowing that he wouldn't be able to again for another year thanks to a nebula he now loathed, he was reluctant to let her go.

"I have to go," she said between kisses.

"I know." He continued kissing her.

"I'll miss the shuttle."

"Who cares?"

"All of the admiralty. I have a meeting with them at noon."

"Let them do without their prettiest admiral for once." She laughed and pushed him away gently to halt his continued kisses.

"One year. After all this time of waiting for each other, we can wait just a little longer." Chakotay sighed.

"I suppose you're right. But I'll miss you all the same."

"And I you." She kissed him long and sweetly. "Comm me as soon as you can."

"I will."

"And be sure to make those hotel reservations for Venice early. They get crowded around June." He grinned.

"Still have a knack for giving me orders, I see."

"Also years of practice."

Kathryn finally stepped away from him and activated the door. It opened obediently and she stepped through, then turned to look at Chakotay once last time.

"You'll wait for me?" Chakotay smiled and leaned out of the door, bending to give her one last kiss in the empty hall.

"Always."

And he did.

He waited for her for a year during his dull foray into the Yaris Nebula. He waited for her during those fourteen horrible months when she was dead. He waited for her when their second mission to the Delta Quadrant tried to place a wedge between them.

And he's suspected he'd waited for her long before that too. The year and a half after they returned home before Proxima. The seven years in the Delta Quadrant. And his whole empty life before that.

But now the waiting is done. Now here Chakotay lays with her in his arms as she does delicious things to him with her fingers. He no longer has to wonder if she'll ever love him back, if she'll ever return to him. She's here, where she's always belonged, and nothing or no one is going to tear the complete and utter happiness of this moment away from him now.

With a smile he finally allows to show through, he feels around under the blanket until he comes in contact with her own naked form and returns the favor as her fingers continue to dance over his skin.

"I knew you were faking," he hears Kathryn's husky voice say before he opens his eyes to also take in her lovely face.

"Not faking, enjoying," he corrects, snaking his fingers to lower and more pleasant regions of her beautiful body. "Good morning."

"Most definitely," she answers, her tone becoming increasingly breathy.

"It'll be an even better morning in a few minutes."

"Oh really?" she replies coyly, even as her fingers on his body journey lower as well. "How so?"

Instead of answering, Chakotay grins, rolls on top of her, and proceeds to show her.


	2. The Old Stomping Grounds

A few days later, Chakotay is sitting in their kitchen table, making a show of casually eating his breakfast while casting furtive glances between the comm unit sitting in the living room and their old fashioned grandfather clock so many times that he's beginning to grow dizzy. Kathryn is sitting across from him, eating her own breakfast at a leisurely pace and reading a book.

Normally he loved reveling in these blissfully quiet moments with her, content to let the hours while away while he soaks in the peace of her presence. But today is a big day, one that he needs to go off without a hitch. And right now a hitch is trying to weasel its way into his plans in the form of B'Elanna being twenty minutes late with her prearranged call.

"Chakotay," Kathryn suddenly says, startling him out of his impatient musings. "Is everything all right?"

"What? No…I mean, yes! I'm fine. I mean, it's fine. Everything's fine." He pauses for a breath. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, you just seem a bit…flustered. And you've hardly touched your breakfast."

Chakotay looks down to see most of his food still present, only pushed to the very edge of the plate and in danger of toppling the rest of the way over to the table. _Funny, I could have sworn I'd been eating it…_

"Chakotay."

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

He sighs and wills himself to calm down a bit before he gives the whole game away. He smiles at her reassuringly. "I'm sorry, Kathryn, I really am all right. I just didn't sleep well, that's all."

"Not another nightmare, was it?"

Chakotay shudders at the very thought. Soon after they were reunited after her death, Chakotay had been plagued by nightmares of the whole thing being a dream and Kathryn still being at the mercy of the Borg and never returned to him. He tried to keep it hidden from her (she had her own nightmares to contend with) but once one nightmare had been so vivid that he was startled awake drenched in sweat and with his heart pounding. He had reached out for Kathryn as he always did when those nightmares hit him…only to find that she wasn't there. In a panic he had raced from the bedroom of his quarters on _Voyager,_ practically shouting her name until he spotted her on the other side of living room reading dull PADDs in an attempt to fall back to sleep. She had forgotten that task immediately and rushed into his arms to let him hold her as he cried with relief.

She always kept a stack of PADDs on her nightstand after that.

It's been a while since he's been haunted by those nightmares, and the last thing he wants is for her to think that she has to start worrying about him like that again. He gets up and rounds the table to put a reassuring hand on her cheek.

"Nothing like that, I promise. No need to worry needlessly, okay? It'll only stress you out." She raises a teasing eyebrow.

" _You're_ lecturing _me_ on worrying too much about a loved one?"

"Well I am the resident expert on it, aren't are? Might as well put all this wisdom to good use. Maybe I'll even start charging…"

"Would I get a discount?"

"No, but I'm sure we could come up with some sort of payment plan." At that, he leans down and kisses her soundly on the lips. He goes to pull away, but Kathryn grabs the back of his neck and deepens it until she pulls a groan from him. When she finally releases him, Chakotay straightens but has to close his eyes for a second to steady his pleasantly tilting world.

"I'd better get out of here and go shower before I'm tempted to cancel all of our plans and keep you here all day," he tells her coyly.

"Who says I wouldn't be okay with that?" she answers saucily. He chuckles.

"You're the one who's been complaining about being cooped up here with the rain for the last few days and wanting to take advantage of the first beautiful day that comes along. And I agree." He makes a sweeping gesture to their large bay windows. "Beautiful day." He gestures to her. "Beautiful woman. They should go together."

Kathryn grins at him. "Fine, you've convinced me. Go. Shower. Change. And be ready to do some advantage-taking as soon as I take my turn after you."

"Aye, Admiral." She swats at his backside as he walks by and grins all the way to the bedroom, anxiety easily forgotten as Kathryn's playfulness and general mood lifting abilities instantly reaffirm Chakotay's belief that he's about to do the right thing.

After a record fast shower and a quick change of clothing, Chakotay glances back to the living room through the open bedroom door to make sure Kathryn is still engrossed in her breakfast and book, then he opens one of the drawers in their dresser and reaches way in the back to pull out a pair of old gloves he rarely uses. He sticks his hand inside one glove and pulls out a ring box, opening it for the umpteenth time since he got it to admire the brilliant little engagement ring that sits nestled among the velvet. He gives the diamond on top one last shine before pocketing the box and strolling back to the living room as casually as he can muster even as the giddiness of happy anticipation threatens to turn his every step into a bounce.

Kathryn has finished eating breakfast, so she clears the table and leaves to take her turn in the shower and get dressed. Chakotay glances at the timepiece again, wondering what could possibly be keeping B'Elanna and the others and hoping whatever it is would fix itself fast. Kathryn is going to want to go out right after she's ready, and if he misses B'Elanna's comm, the whole plan will instantly become much more convoluted than it already is.

Finally, the comm unit quietly chirps an incoming transmission. Chakotay races to sit on the living room couch and answer it.

"What took you guys so long?!" he demands without preamble. B'Elanna appears taken aback for a second and responds in a biting tone.

"Well hello to you too, Old Man. And yes, you're very welcome for taking the two hours that were necessary to install ten new removable holoemitters on the bridge." Chakotay sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry. It's just that Kathryn was almost finished getting ready and she wants to go out immediately. I was afraid we were going to miss your call. Did everything get set up okay?"

"Aside from a few stubborn emitters refusing to project at first, everything is running perfectly. Harry and Tom tested it out a few times just to be sure. And the setting is so romantic, they very nearly proposed to each other."

Chakotay laughs then grows sincere. "Thank you so much, B'Elanna. To you and Tom and Harry. This means a lot to me." B'Elanna blushes and becomes uncharacteristically shy.

"It's the least we could do for you guys, after all you've done for us. We….we love you both."

"Can you say that again while I hit the record button?" he teases, earning a good-natured glare.

"Not on your life, Old Man. So when are you planning on-,"

Chakotay clears his throat loudly when he hears the bedroom door swing open behind him and footsteps cross over to the kitchen, no doubt to take their owner to the coffee pot where she will pour herself a generous supply.

"Well B'Elanna, if you're sure it'll only take an hour or so, I guess we could be persuaded to swing by." She caught on quickly and gave a wink.

"We'd really appreciate it, Chakotay. It seems our encryption techniques worked a little too well."

"What about encryption techniques?" Kathryn asks when she comes over to stand behind him, oversized coffee mug in hand.

"Oh, good morning, Admiral. I was just talking to your partner in crime about possibly persuading you both to join us on _Voyager_ for an hour. We're working on a few upgrades and it seems the computer is stubbornly refusing to grant us access to all systems without the voiceprint of our illustrious captain over here."

"It seems the security measures we took during out second foray into the Delta Quadrant worked a little too well," Chakotay tells Kathryn. "It won't even take my voice print over the comm."

"It's probably a malfunction in the comm system subroutines, but bypassing all the security measures could take us hours. It'd be a lot easier if Chakotay were here to just grant us access. I'm sorry Admiral, I know it's your vacation…"

"It's not a problem B'Elanna, I assure you. Our plans for today are perfectly flexible."

B'Elanna makes the perfect show of looking relieved. "Thanks, Admiral. I promise we won't keep you long. We'll see you here soon. Torres out." Kathryn smiles down at Chakotay after the screen goes blank.

"Well, it looks like we're going back to the old stomping grounds."

"Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all. I'm sure the beautiful day will still be waiting for us when we're done."

Chakotay smiles, stands up, and offers her his hand. She takes it affectionately and together they leave the apartment towards the Presidio, where _Voyager_ is temporarily parked while repairs and reviews are underway. Kathryn is speaking about….something, but Chakotay is only half listening. They are getting closer and closer to the big moment and he finds his anxiety mounting again. It's a good kind of anxiety, but it has his heart beating uncomfortably fast nonetheless.

They beam aboard _Voyager_ and are greeted by two starstruck young cadets on a learning tour of the ship who tell them that B'Elanna has asked them to let the former command team know to meet her on the bridge. They begin to make their way out of the transporter room but Kathryn is suddenly called back by one of the cadets shyly asking her if she could give him some advice about what track to follow at the Academy. Chakotay sighs inwardly with relief, glad to see that Tom has passed word onto these new accomplices in his plans just as he promised he would. With Kathryn safely occupied, he steps into the hall just outside the transporter room and surreptitiously taps his commbadge.

"Chakotay to Kim."

" _Kim here, Captain. Has the eagle landed?"_

Chakotay chuckles. "We're both here, Harry. And you can drop the code words, she's busy at the moment. Everything ready?"

" _We're all set up here, Sir. Just say the word and we'll get it running._ "

"Do it now then high tail it out of there. We'll be on our way up in a few minutes."

" _Acknowledged. Kim out._ "

Chakotay smothers his overexcited grin just as Kathryn exits the transporter room.

"Ready to go?" she asks, and when he answers with only a nod she frowns a little. "You're slipping into quiet mode again. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine, Kathryn. In fact, everything's perfect."

With a smile, Chakotay offers her his arm and she loops her hand through it with a smile of her own, albeit it with a slightly suspicious look in her eyes.

Eleven years. Eleven years of doing that exact same gesture on any occasion that would allow it and it still thrills him to no end when her delicate hand latches on to his arm. Uniform, civilian clothing, bare skin, it doesn't matter. Whenever she touches him the softness of her skin and the gentleness of her touch lance straight to his heart with a force so intense that sometimes he can't breathe. Eleven years, and he knows it will be hundreds of years still that her touch will have that exact same effect on him. It makes him once again even more sure of what he's about to do.

Kathryn is his and he is hers. It's finally time to make that more permanent.

* * *

Kathryn sighs contently as she strides arm-in-arm with Chakotay through the halls of _Voyager_ on their way to the turbolift. It seems like only yesterday that they walked down these very halls together as captain and first officer. A lot has happened since then. Unspeakable tragedies. Almost too many losses to bear. But they emerged on the other side mostly and miraculously intact, and now here she is. Free to walk on the arm of the man she loves with no fear of parameters or protocols. It feels heavenly.

Well, almost heavenly. Chakotay has been awfully fidgety and occasionally too quiet throughout the day. She wonders if something more is bothering him other than his lack of sleep….or worse yet, if _she_ has done something to bother him. Thinking back, she can't recall anything specific. Is he annoyed that she agreed to come help B'Elanna when it's supposed to be their time off? No, that can't be it, he's the one that suggested it. Well, whatever it is, she hopes he snaps out of it soon. She has a big day planned for the two of them that consists of a happy stroll through the park, a light-hearted dinner at one of their favorite restaurants, and extremely pleasant activities in their bed to cap off the day. That won't work at all if he stays in this little funk.

"Are you sure something isn't bothering you, Chakotay?" she asks again, deciding on her usual route of tackling the problem directly.

"Not at all," he assures her. "Why do you ask?"

"You've just been a little….off today. It seems like something more than just lack of sleep." They enter the turbolift and she calls for the bridge. She waits for Chakotay to explain his stoicism but instead he looks around the 'lift and stays quiet, as if waiting for something. Finally he speaks.

"I was just thinking, Kathryn," he smiles and takes her hand, "what do you want to do with the rest of our days off?"

Kathryn's surprised by the change of subject but decides to go along if it gets him talking. She gives him a saucy smile. "I know what I want do with our nights."

To her immense relief and pleasure, Chakotay give her a seductive grin right back. "Well that goes without saying." He sobers a bit. "But really, they're winding down fast. What do you want to do?"

"Oh I don't know," she muses. "Maybe we could spend a few days in Paris? Or Italy? Visit all the sights. It's been a while since I've been to Ireland, actually..."

"I have an idea," Chakotay cuts her off somewhat eagerly. "How about we get married?"

He says it so nonchalantly that she has to assume he's joking. "Married?"

"Yes, married. We could do it this Saturday before everyone leaves after the Prixin celebrations. Then we could use the last of our days on our honeymoon, anywhere you want to go."

"Anywhere?" Kathryn asks teasingly, still thinking that he must be joking. He grins and squeezes her hand.

"Anywhere, Kathryn. What do you say?"

"Is this your way of proposing, Captain?" she jokes. _There's just no way,_ she thinks as she vaguely registers the 'lift coming to a halt, _there's no way he would propose in a turbolift with no ring…_

"I don't know, Admiral, you tell me." The doors swish open and she sees Chakotay's eyes slide to the left. She follows his gaze to the turbolift doors and can't stop the gasp that escapes her lips.

The bridge is dark, set to the low lighting of code blue, but the rest of it is illuminated with the most candles she has ever seen in her life, sporadically placed all across the decks. There are flower petals too, peach colored ones strewn across the floors and the consoles and the chairs, and bouquets of peace roses stuck out in various places. The viewscreen is set to a lovely picture of Earth that catches the glows of Aurora Borealis in stunning clarity.

Kathryn already feels tears pricking her eyes as she is finally able to get herself to step out of the 'lift. She looks down and notices for the first time that a path has been lined by candles that leads directly to the area in front of their former command chairs. She follows the path while still taking in the scene before her, captivated by its breathtaking beauty, until she finds herself standing in a circle of candles close to the first officer's seat.

"Chakotay," she begins breathlessly, "this is…how…?" She turns around and stops short when she finds Chakotay directly behind her, bent down on one knee.

"Kathryn," he begins, and her heart swells when she hears his voice break with emotion as he speaks her name so reverently. "I love you. I've loved you from the moment I materialized right here on this bridge and was stunned by the beautiful woman warrior who was brave enough to put herself in front of the angry warrior, and wise enough to say the exact words that cooled his anger and chased away his discontent."

Tears are flowing freely down her cheeks now as she recognizes the ancient legend he had spun for her so long ago, the legend that solidified his ties to her. She takes a deep breath and tries her best to reign in the excited pulsing of her heart in her ears so she can hear his words and keep them forever.

"Ever since then, you've owned my heart and given me a peace that I didn't think could ever be possible for me. And for that I will be eternally yours. And I promise I will continue to do everything I can to lift your burdens, and love you the way you deserve to be loved, and protect your heart, your amazing heart."

He pulls out a little black box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a simple yet stunning silver engagement ring. Kathryn gasps as its diamond catches the light from the candles and the reflection sparkles in the tears that pool Chakotay's eyes.

"Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway, will you marry me?"

Kathryn closes her eyes for a second, feeling an overwhelming sense of joy and love sweeping through her, so powerful that she thinks she might sink to her knees right in front of him. She never thought this moment would come, not with him, not after all they had been through and all they had lost. But now here it is, this moment that she has wanted since returning from the dead. Since getting _Voyager_ home. Since New Earth. Since the moment she laid eyes on him on that viewscreen, eleven years ago.

"Kathryn?" she hears him ask with just a slight tinge of fear. She opens her eyes and gives him a grin that threatens to take over her whole face.

"Yes, Chakotay," she answers. "Yes of course I'll marry you."

Kathryn has never seen anyone look so relieved, or so overwhelmingly happy. He removes the ring from the box, takes her left hand, and slips it on her finger. Then he rises and kisses it as she laughs joyously. He kisses her hand, her arm, her shoulder, all the way up until he finally reaches her lips. She draws him in and holds him with a tight ferocity, which he returns happily as their kiss goes on and on.

Pure elation heats up the kiss quickly, and she briefly considers fulfilling a long held fantasy of doing very inappropriate things with him in her former ready room, but then Chakotay's commbadge chirps softly in his pocket.

" _Kim to Chakotay,"_ comes a whispered hail.

"Harry's here?" Kathryn asks against Chakotay's lips, since he refuses to release them.

"Ignore him," he mumbles back at her between kisses. They continue their sensuous exploration of their new fiancé's mouths until the commbadge chirps again and a louder, more persistent voice booms from his pocket.

" _Torres to Chakotay! You can devour each other later! Right now three of your best friends are dying to congratulate you!"_

Chakotay groans and Kathryn laughs as he pulls the comm out of his pocket and taps it with more force than necessary.

"Fine, come up if you must."

A chorus of whoops sound before the line clicks dead.

"That's what you get for letting the Three Musketeers in on your plans," Kathryn teases.

"More like the Three Stooges," he grouses, but only for a second before his grumpiness gives way to a gratified smile. "But the moment was worth it."

"Most definitely," she agrees, then wraps her arms around his neck again and grins at him. "I love you, fiancé."

"I love you more, fiancé." Chakotay bends down to kiss her soundly again, until the turbolift doors swish open and their three dear friends tumble out and over to them to engulf them in hugs and well wishes. Kathryn quiets them after a length.

"Thank you all, and thank you so much for helping Chakotay pull all this off. It's breathtaking."

"Anything for you, Admiral," Tom tells her. "Hell, we would have even lit two hundred real candles like Chakotay originally wanted to do, but Starfleet said no."

"So removable holoemitters it was," B'Elanna says.

"At least clean-up will be a lot easier," Harry jokes. They all laugh and then Tom announces that he's treating them all to dinner at one of their favorite restaurants to celebrate. They beam off the ship together and head to a seafood place by the bay, where they toast with champagne, laugh about old times on _Voyager,_ and discuss very imminent wedding plans. Kathryn takes it all in in happy daze, the weight of the ring on her left hand a constant reminder of this perfect moment in her life and how overwhelmingly complete she now feels.

After dinner, Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna offer to keep celebrating over drinks at a new jazz lounge that just opened up downtown, but Kathryn politely declines before Chakotay gets a chance to consider. When he looks over and correctly reads the look she's giving him, he doesn't argue.

They leave their friends and beam back to the transporter station close to their apartment then walk the rest of the way, stopping intermittently to paw at each other like hormonal teenagers. They barely make it fully inside their apartment before Kathryn starts tearing at his clothes, and he at hers. They tumble to the bedroom, tangled in each other and giggling like lovestruck fools, which is really exactly what they are.

They make love again and again, pouring out all the love and tenderness they feel towards each other with a new intensity, magnified as it is by the new, more permanent promise of a lifelong commitment to each other.

When they finally lay still, Chakotay sleeps but Kathryn remains awake, admiring the new ring on her finger. It's the third she's worn in her life, and though she'll never forget the way she loved those two other men, this love is beyond anything she's ever felt for anyone. Mark's love was important to her but too safe, and her love for Justin hardly had a chance to solidify into a deep, mature love before he was so painfully ripped away from her. Not to mention that they were so young, she hadn't had a chance to become who she is today.

But here, in this moment, this Kathryn is completely and irrevocably in love with the man lying next to her, and she knows she will be for the rest of her life and beyond. She can't wait to stand up in front of everyone they care about and show them just that.

Speaking of which, Saturday is only five days away, and Chakotay seemed pretty serious about getting married right away while they still have most of their crew in the vicinity for the Prixin celebration on Friday. She has a lot to do before then, a lot of people to inform and wedding things to secure.

Hearing Chakotay sigh deeply and contently in his sleep, she cuddles into his warmth and banishes all those thoughts out of her mind. All cares and concerns about how to pull off a wedding in five days can wait until tomorrow.

Right now, she's burrowed in soft covers and pillows. The stars of the Alpha Quadrant are shining down upon them. She's sleeping next to the love of her life and soon-to-be-husband.

She is complete.

* * *

A mere three days later, Kathryn is pacing back and forth in her living room in front of the comm unit sitting on the coffee table. Her mother and sister are onscreen, sitting side by side in Kathryn's childhood home and watching her pace like they're watching a tennis match.

"So everything got beamed over okay?"

"All items present and accounted for," Phoebe assures her.

"And they'll send over enough people to help set everything up?"

"Yes," Gretchen answers, "they assure me the set up crew will arrive by 0800."

"And the caterer confirmed?"

"Yes," says Phoebe.

"And the RSVPs came in?"

"All of them. Every friend, family member, and former _Voyager_ on or near Earth has promised to come."

"Good," Kathryn says absentmindedly, her hands reflexively coming up to her hips as she continues her pacing. "Be sure to confirm that the florist knows what time the set up crew will be there. It'll be easier for her to beam over the flowers at the same time."

"Aye Admiral," Phoebe replies, a hint of sarcasm coloring her voice. At that, Kathryn stops her pacing and looks over at her mother and sister, then down at herself.

"I slipped into command mode again, didn't I?" Kathryn asks with a hint of mirth. Gretchen laughs.

"Just a bit, darling. But it's all right. Now I can see how you got your crew home in only seven years." Kathryn chuckles and sits down on the sofa in front of the comm with a sigh.

"I'm sorry," she says, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I just didn't realize how much planning I would have to cram into a few days by agreeing to such a quick wedding date."

"Don't worry, sweetheart," her mother soothes. "Weddings are a big hassle no matter how much time you give yourself to plan, but we'll get everything done. Your sister and I are here to help any way we can. And I'm sure the same goes for your crew."

"Yeah," Phoebe agrees, "and before you know it, it'll be over and you'll have a handsome new toy husband to play with."

Kathryn grins at that and looks at them both lovingly. "Thank you both, for everything. It means a lot to Chakotay and me to have this wedding when the majority of our former crew can attend. I never would have been able to pull it off without your help."

"Anything for you, angel," Gretchen says, "we both love you very much."

"I love you both too," Kathryn replies, gazing adoringly at the two most important women in her life, and once again silently thanks whoever is listening that she was able to return to them after so many years of being gone, both in the Delta Quadrant and during her death. She wasted so much time with them both, and now she'll never stop being grateful for having that time back, especially with Phoebe. She in particular had been furious at Kathryn for a while for choosing to remain in Starfleet, and didn't speak to her for months after that argument they had at their mother's house before Kathryn returned to work. But as soon as Phoebe heard of Kathryn's upcoming nuptials, she put aside her own anger and came back to fully support her sister. Kathryn couldn't love her more.

She takes in a deep breath and changes the subject before things can get too maudlin. "So that only leaves one more thing…the dress."

Just as she expects, her mother and sister's faces light up at the prospect of shopping for a wedding gown with Kathryn, just as they always do when shopping is mentioned in general.

"When do you think you both will be free?" Kathryn asks casually, though a smirk places at her lips.

"Right now!" Gretchen and Phoebe practically shout in unison. Kathryn laughs.

"I suspected as much," she tells them. "Let me just change and then I can I beam over in-,"

She's interrupted when the front door swings open and Chakotay breezes in excitedly.

"Hello, darling," Kathryn greets him.

"Hi," Chakotay greets back as he crosses over to her and bends to give her a quick kiss.

"Hello, darling," Gretchen and Phoebe both call teasingly from the comm. Chakotay is surprised for a second but then grins at his future in-laws.

"Hello, ladies! Both of you look as lovely as ever."

"Kathryn, did I mention how much I like him?" Phoebe asks.

"Only so many times that I'm starting to get concerned," Kathryn teases back. Chakotay laughs.

"I assume I interrupted some important wedding business?"

"As a matter of fact, we were just about to steal your fiancé away from you for some very important dress shopping," Gretchen says. "That is, if you can spare her."

To Kathryn's surprise, Chakotay hesitates. "Actually, there's someone I invited over to see Kathryn. He should be here in a few minutes, but if all goes well it shouldn't take too long. Would you mind letting me keep her for another hour?"

Gretchen and Phoebe cast glances at Kathryn, who just shrugs. She honestly has no idea what he has up his sleeve, but she's intrigued already. Gretchen smiles.

"Of course, dear. Phoebe and I need to finalize a few more things over here on our end anyway. Kathryn, just go ahead and beam over whenever you're ready. We'll be here."

"Thanks, Mom. See you both soon!" The transmission ends and Kathryn turns her full attention to Chakotay.

"Well, what's the big mystery? Who is my surprise guest?"

"He'll be here any moment, just give it a minute or two."

"You can't even give me a hint?" Chakotay grins at her almost petulant tone.

"Has anyone ever told you you're beautiful when you're wheedling?" He bends down to give her a long, lingering kiss, which she returns whole-heartedly.

"You're just trying to distract me," she says when they finally break apart, but her voice is soft and breathy.

"Is it working?"

"For a moment, oh yes," she says as she pulls him down by the collar to kiss him again. But then she pushes him back. "Now what's my surprise?"

Chakotay grins, but before he has a chance to answer, their door chimes.

"You're in luck, you don't have to wait another moment to find out." Chakotay rushes over to the door and Kathryn gets up from her seat to join him.

"Good afternoon, Admiral," she hears a familiar voice say and it freezes her in her tracks.

"Tuvok!" she cries, tears of warmth and nostalgia instantly lining her eyes. Her first instinct is to run over and throw herself into his arms even though she knows how uncomfortable it would make him. She hasn't seen him since before her death, and even then that was only over the comm right after that night on Proxima with Chakotay.

But then the reality of their somewhat strained relationship comes crashing back down on her as she remembers the letter T'Pel had sent her about Tuvok's struggles with his emotional imbalance after the death of his son. She understood perfectly his need to distance himself from her after her return from her own death. She'd probably only serve as a reminder of the injustice of it all, that she was allowed to come back while his son wasn't. And she knows how much her own death had hurt Tuvok. After she came back she made sure she met with all the people who handled the circumstances of her death to thank them personally. Deanna Troi was among them, who had been gracious enough to inform Tuvok of her passing and when they met, she told Kathryn of the wave of strong, deep grief the Betazoid had sensed from him when he accidentally allowed his control to slip. No, Kathryn never doubted that Tuvok cares for her in his own unique, Vulcan way, maybe even loves her a bit. But it only makes the distance between them now all that much harder.

Kathryn realizes she's been standing there, probably with her mouth agape, for a lot longer than any sane person should. She steals a glance at Chakotay, who is wearing a happy, hopeful expression, and then back at Tuvok, who regards her with his usual cool, Vulcan air.

"Um, would you like to sit down, Tuvok?" Kathryn finally asks, gesturing somewhat awkwardly to the couch. Tuvok inclines his head.

"Yes Admiral, thank you." He heads over to the couch and she follows somewhat eagerly at his heels.

"Can I get you anything?" she fuses. "Coffee? Vulcan spice tea?"

"The tea would be pleasant, thank you," Tuvok answers evenly. Kathryn is about to head over to the replicator then hesitates. He would probably prefer the real thing, she knows, but that means going to the kitchen to prepare it. Would it be polite to leave him alone after not seeing him for so long? When had she become this nervous around one of her closest friends?

Sensing her unease, Chakotay mercifully steps in. "I'll make the tea, Kathryn. And I'll prepare some snacks before you have to go. Go ahead and sit down." He gives her a gentle nudge on the small of her back towards the couch, offering her the comfort she needs in that calm, assuring way of his. She smiles gratefully at him and sits down next to her oldest friend, not sure where to begin.

Tuvok, also knowing her well, picks up on her hesitation immediately and recognizes the need to ease her into conversation. "You and the captain have made a most pleasing home for yourselves, Admiral."

Kathryn smiles. "Thank you, Tuvok. I'm glad you're finally getting to see it. I had no idea you were even on Earth."

"I arrived only early this morning. I had a meeting with the Dean of Instruction at Starfleet Academy." Kathryn's eyebrows perks up.

"Are you considering going back to teaching?"

"It is a possibility. And a logical choice if my children follow through with their expressed interests in living and studying on Earth. T'Pel and I are currently discussing the possibility of relocating here on a more permanent basis."

"Well, I don't mean to be biased, but I would love it if you and your family relocated here. It would give us more time to spend together."

"Indeed." An awkward silence followed. Well, awkward for her. She doubts Vulcans ever feel awkward. She wracks her brain for another casual topic to discuss, but he preempts her.

"Admiral, I'd like to apologize." Kathryn starts at that.

"Apologize? Tuvok, whatever for?"

"For the….distance I placed between us after your return. I'm afraid I might have given you the wrong impression."

"Oh no, Tuvok!" she assures him quickly. "I read the letter T'Pel sent me. I know this past year has been anything but pleasant." Because Kathryn knows him so well, she can see just a hint of emotion well up into his eyes, and it breaks her heart anew.

"This past year has indeed been a challenge. The news of your passing was….difficult. As was the news of my son shortly after. It took quite a while for me to regain my mental control, to find my peace again. But I do not want you to believe that the news of your return was not most welcome. At the time I was not in a place to accept it properly, but now that my clarity has returned, I can tell you that having you back is indeed most gratifying. You were and shall remain one of my closest and most valued friends. And I hope you still regard me with the same esteem."

Tears come unbidden now and they roll down Kathryn's cheeks before she even realizes they're there. She looks at the man sitting before her, one she would never have imagined would become so dear to her when they first met and he had dressed her down in front of a group of admirals so mercilessly. Now he's one of the handful of people she can't imagine a day without.

Before she can think better of it, Kathryn leans forward and envelops him in a hug. She feels Tuvok tense, but even as uncomfortable as this kind of contact makes him, he returns the gesture and wraps his arms around her back. Kathryn's heart sings with pure joy.

Pulling back quickly to lessen his discomfort, Kathryn wipes at her tears and grins at him. "You're one of my most treasured friends too, Tuvok, and you always will be." Tuvok's only answer is to nod his head slightly, but she recognizes the gratification in his eyes. Suddenly an idea occurs to her.

"Tuvok, how long will you be on Earth?"

"Long enough to attend your wedding to the captain, I assure you." Kathryn smile widens.

"Then I have a favor to ask of you." Tuvok's eyebrows lifts in their signature way.

"A favor?"

"Yes, but only if you're willing." She inhales deeply. "You see, I was going to do it myself, but now that you're here, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to escort me down the aisle."

Tuvok's eyesbrows raise up even higher until they practically meld with his hairline. "I would be…most honored to do so, Admiral."

Kathryn smiles. "And I would be most honored to have you do so." She lays a hand on top of his and squeezes it lightly, trying her best to convey to him how glad she is to have him in her life once again. She realizes now how much she truly missed him.

Chakotay clears his throat from across the room and enters carrying a tray of tea and cucumber sandwiches. He joins them as they eat and drink and partake in light-hearted banter, and Kathryn can feel the weight of Tuvok's absence in her life lift off of her as they regain the friendship she has come to rely on so much, and one she vows to never take for granted again.

An hour later Tuvok says he must be returning back to T'Pel for dinner, and Kathryn has a shopping date with her mother and sister to keep. He departs with the assurance that he will be at the annual Prixin celebration in a couple of days, then at her wedding the next. After the doors close behind him, Kathryn turns back to Chakotay with a loving smile.

"How did you pull that off?" Chakotay flashes his dimples.

"I ran into him on the Academy grounds. I'm not sure if he planned to come see us already, but it didn't take much convincing to get him to come over here to talk to you." He grows serious and steps closer to take her hands in his. "I know how much he means to you, Kathryn, and how his absence has hurt you even if you didn't really dwell on it much. I want our wedding day to be perfect for you, and I knew it couldn't be if someone so important from our family was missing from it."

Kathryn feels another tear slide down her cheek as she regards the amazing man before her. "Thank you," she chokes out emotionally. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"I ask myself the same thing about you every day," he tells her sincerely, then leans in to kiss her sweetly. She wraps her arms around his neck and returns the kiss with all the love and passion she has, only for him and for all her days. They break apart then he drops one more kiss on top of her head before spinning her around towards the door.

"Now go on, you have some shopping to do, or else we'll have to end up having a Betazoid wedding." He gives her a lecherous once over. "Not that I would mind that in the least." Kathryn laughs and smacks his arm playfully.

"You're still a dirty old man."

"Yes, but I'm _your_ dirty old man," he tells her with a smirk, then pecks her lips once more. "And come Saturday I'll be your dirty old man forever."

"You're deluding yourself if you think you're not already mine forever," she answers cheekily. Chakotay laughs.

"Fair enough. Now go!" he says as he shoos her out. "You're keeping your mother and your sister waiting and they'll never let _me_ hear the end of it."

"I'm going, I'm going," she playfully whines as she opens the door. Before she leaves though, she turns to him one last time. "Chakotay?"

"What?" he asks impatiently, though she can see the teasing glint in his eyes.

"I love you," she tells him simple, and his countenance softens immediately.

"I love you too, Kathryn, so very much." He regards her for a beat, eyes luminescent with adoration. "Now scat!"

Kathryn giggles happily and finally leaves the apartment to head to the transporter station. Saturday definitely cannot get here fast enough.


	3. Magical Days

Kathryn stares out the window of her childhood bedroom in Bloomington, Indiana, listening to the strains of a string quartet playing soft classical melodies that barely waft in from the fields. The music is coming from the tree where she spent her youth thinking, and now it is where she'll spend this day marrying a man she loves with her entire being.

She sighs in perfect contentment and angles herself to survey the area. The ceremony itself is to take place under the tree, too far to see from her current stance, but where she knows a lovely arch and enough chairs to accommodate all their family and friends has been set up for the occasion. But the reception is to take place in the backyard, and she watches as wedding staffers scurry about the white tent that has been erected around the area, making last minute preparations and securing the structure against any anomalous happenings. She's hasn't seen the final set up inside, but with her mother and sister heading the decorations she's certain that it'll be lovely.

Kathryn's thoughts shift towards her family and she remembers that she better hurry if she wants to be ready before they start pounding on her door. She only had a brief respite from their flurrying around her so she can slip into her wedding dress. Then they'll be back to muss with her hair and makeup and shoes and whatever else they can find to fuss about, no doubt until mere seconds before the ceremony is set to begin.

She pulls the wedding dress out of her closet and releases it from its garment bag. Taking great care not to step on it or catch a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror until it's completely on, she steps into the dress and secures it in place, then pins her veil into her hair. When she is finished, she takes a deep breath and turns to the mirror.

Kathryn gasps when she hardly recognizes herself. The dress is simple but lovely, designed with what used to be called the "mermaid style" which hugs her curves all the way down to just below her hips before it blooms out and floats down to the floor. The straps hang just off her shoulders and the entire dress is decorated with lacy patterns and tiny crystals that sparkle when she moves. Much to her relief considering Phoebe was her beautician, her makeup is understated but brings out her best features in stunning clarity. Loose tendrils that have been allowed to escape the elaborate up-do her mother has created for her, and her veil is secured in place underneath a soft peach peace rose.

She's never considered herself a great beauty, that was more Phoebe's department, but even Kathryn can admit that she makes quite the lovely picture today. She can't wait for Chakotay to see her.

Her thoughts are interrupted by that banging on the door that she's been expecting.

"Come in, I'm ready," she calls, still gazing in the mirror as she toys with the veil. Gasps come from the entryway so she turns. Phoebe and her mother are staring with their mouths covered and tears in their eyes, flanked by B'Elanna, Seven, and Sekaya. They all mob her instantly.

"Oh darling, you look so beautiful," her mother coos as she touches her face.

"You do, Kathryn, you really do. Mom, don't do that! You'll muss up her makeup!" Phoebe scolds.

"I will not! I'm just admiring my beautiful daughter on her wedding day. Isn't a mother allowed to do that?"

"Not if it means messing up hours of work!"

"You really do look gorgeous, Kathryn. My brother won't know what hit him," Sekaya says over Gretchen and Phoebe's bickering.

"You're beautiful, Admir-Kathryn," B'Elanna adds, remembering belatedly Kathryn's insistence on no ranks today, and wipes a few tears away from her eyes as she mutters curses against her raging pregnancy hormones.

"B'Elanna is correct, Kathryn. Your appearance is quite aesthetically pleasing," Seven adds.

They all continue to talk, sometimes to her, more often to each other or themselves _about_ her, until it all dissolves into one loud din that Kathryn cannot comprehend. She holds up her hands to quiet them down.

"Hold it, ladies, hold it," she cries until silences reigns again. "I appreciate all of your compliments and concerns, but isn't it time for all of you to be at the ceremony?"

As if they rehearsed it, all five women turn to the chronometer on Kathryn's nightstand. A chorus of gasps and "she's right's" ring out and all the ladies rush to leave her bedroom. Her mother, however, hesitates at the door.

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to stay with you?" Kathryn smiles warmly at her.

"I'd just like a few minutes alone before the ceremony, if that's all right."

"Second thoughts so soon?" Gretchen teases. Kathryn chuckles.

"Hardly. I just like the quiet to….settle." Gretchen smiles warmly.

"I understand, darling. I'll send Tuvok in as soon as it's time to walk you down the aisle."

"Thanks, Mom," Kathryn answers. Gretchen turns to leave but stops again. She crosses the room quickly, takes Kathryn's face in her hands, and gives her a lingering kiss on the forehead.

"I love you, my angel," Gretchen says with tears sparkling in her eyes. "So very much. And I'm so very proud of everything you've become. You know that, don't you?"

"I do, Mom," she assures her, desperately trying to keep her own tears at bay. "And I love you too, very, very much." Gretchen gives a watery smile.

"Your father would be very proud too. And you're going to make Chakotay very, very happy."

"I sure hope so."

"I'm sure of it." Gretchen pulls Kathryn into a fierce hug, then steps back pats her on her upper arms. "Now, I'll leave before I reduce us both to makeup running messes. You've got fifteen minutes for last minute touch ups and quiet reflection before I send Tuvok over. Make sure you're ready on time, young lady." Kathryn grins at her mother's tone that could rival any Starfleet captain.

"Yes ma'am." Gretchen gives her one last smile then turns to leave. Kathryn sighs with relief at the opportunity for a peaceful moment to herself as she sets about fixing herself up one last time. She lets her mind wander towards imaginings of how handsome Chakotay must look in his tux and how glorious their honeymoon in Europe will be. She's smoothing out her dress when she thinks she sees a flash of white light in the mirror.

"My, aren't you a vision," states a very familiar voice from behind her. Kathryn freezes in terror.

"Q…" she barely whispers. The last time she saw him was the moment he declared she had made an enemy out of him after his son was forced to sacrifice himself to save the universe. He had sworn he'd take revenge on her, and she can only conclude that he's chosen now, only moments before the happiest event of her life, to do it.

"You look lovelier than I've ever seen you, Kathy. I guess it's that special bridal glow."

"Q, what are you doing here?" she turns around and asks, even though she's pretty sure she knows the answer.

"I've come to give you something, Kathy." Q begins to stalk menacingly towards her. She begins to back up out of instinct.

"Q, please, let me have this one day. Just this one day, then you can do whatever you want to me."

"It's too late, Kathy. I've got something to give you and there's no way you're changing my mind."

"Q, _please_ …"

"Here it comes." He raises his fingers to a snapping formation.

"Q!"

Kathryn's cries go unheard as Q snaps his fingers and she is engulfed in white light. She clenches her eyes shut and waits for it, whatever it may be. For her atoms to be split and scattered to all corners of the galaxy. For unearthly pain to consume her limbs. For her consciousness to return only to find herself floating in a petri dish as an amoeba among her new amoeba friends.

But when she opens her eyes, she finds herself still in her childhood bedroom. Q is simply standing before her and nothing looks out of place. Music still wafts in through the open bedroom window.

"Q, what-,"

"Look down, Kathy."

Kathryn does as she is told and finds that the simple diamond on a silver chain she had been wearing has been replaced by a stunningly ornate circular diamond necklace, the most opulent piece of jewelry she has ever seen.

"It was a gift from Napoleon Bonaparte to his wife. Well over five hundred years old. It's supposed to be sitting in the Museum of Natural History but instead it graces your lovely neck for the evening. And before you get all huffy, don't worry. A very convincing replica is sitting in its place and the original will replace it as soon as the reception is over. Nobody will even get a chance to miss it." Kathryn's fingers graze the lovely piece of jewelry in awe, but her suspicions remain on high alert.

"Q, it's a lovely gesture, and one I greatly appreciate, but…"

"But why give you this gift instead of vaporizing you into oblivion like I had promised?" Q asks quite smugly.

"Something like that. I thought you hated me."

"Oh Kathy, hate is such a strong word."

"You called me your enemy."

"Well you were at the moment. But don't take it personally, so was the whole damn universe….myself included."

"Q, I don't understand."

"Come on, Kathy! Can't you just accept my gift without trying to drag out some melodramatic explanation from me?"

"Q…" Kathryn says, imploring him with her eyes to help her understand. She wants to believe he's here with no ulterior motives, but she can't feel secure and truly enjoy her wedding day until she knows for sure. Q sees this and sighs.

"Fine," he relents. "But if thinks get maudlin and you muss up your makeup again, don't blame me!" He crosses her room, sits on the edge of the bed, and motions for her to join him. She sits down next to him and waits as he gathers his thoughts.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking since we last spoke. It's taken me decades…well, in my temporal plane anyway….to come to terms with Junior's decision, and decades longer still to see something that I've probably known all along."

Q looks up to meet her eyes. "I was…..w-wrong. God that leaves a bad taste in my mouth!" Kathryn snorts and meets his gaze.

"Wrong about what, Q?"

"I was wrong for placing the blame entirely on you for Junior's sacrifice, and everything else that happened with the Omega continuum." In an uncharacteristically tender move, he takes Kathryn's hand in his own and squeezes it. "You're one of my favorite humans, Kathy. That's why I keep dropping by for these delightful little visits. Why I wanted to mate with you. And why I didn't stop Lady Q from trying to keep you away from that damned Borg cube in the first place. You're extraordinary….well, as extraordinary as you can get for a member of a minor bipedaled species."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she jokes. Q smiles sadly and continues.

"You're so extraordinary, in fact, that sometimes I forget that you're only human. I suspect a lot of people around you do. So it was unfair of me to lay the blame on you. In truth, I think Jean Luc was right."

"About what?"

About what he and you talked about a few months back. About how it was _my_ fault that your species was introduced to the Borg in the first place."

"Q, I'm sure he didn't mean for you to take the blame for everything either."

"Maybe not, but it seems to have worked out that way anyway, hasn't it Kathy?"

"What do you mean?" Q lets go of her hand and jumps up to pace.

"Don't you see, Kathy?! Everything that was set in motion that led up to Junior's death, the Omega encounter, the Borg invasion, your death, it was all started by _me._ "

"You?" Kathryn asks incredulously. "How so?" Q sighs.

"Do you remember that "homework" I gave you after Junior spent a week on your ship?"

"The shortcut home, yes. But what does that-,"

"It led you right to that transwarp hub, Kathy. I knew there was a wormhole leading right to the Alpha Quadrant in it. I wanted you to use it to get home. Without me you would have sailed right by without even knowing it was there."

"You mean, if you hadn't shown us where that transwarp hub was, then Admiral Janeway from the future never would have come…"

"And the Borg never would have returned to exact their revenge after you both destroyed the hub. Exactly." Kathryn stands up as well.

"Q, you couldn't possibly have known-,"

"No, Kathy? I'm a Q, remember? We have the ability to see into multiple outcomes of the future. You may not have known the effect your actions could have, but I did. Or I could have, had I bothered to even look into it."

"Q, you can't go on blaming yourself like this." Q scoffs.

"No? Then who can I blame. Certainly not you who doesn't possess my superior powers. Junior, perhaps, for being so damn noble…" he tapers off when his words catch in his throat. Kathryn puts a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You can certainly try to blame him. Or me, or yourself, or Eden, anyone who was involved really. But what good would that do, Q? It won't change what happened. It won't bring your son or anyone else back."

"Maybe not, but it'd make me feel a hell of a lot better. Then I'd possibly have something to pummel." Kathryn smiles sadly.

"I understand how you feel, Q. For a long time I was wracked by guilt over a lot of things. Stranding my crew in the Delta Quadrant. The hundreds of decisions I made that got them injured or killed, or angered an alien species. Changing twenty-three years of history and inadvertently provoking the Borg. It was all slowly eating away at me. But there was one person who was always there for me, to remind me of something, and it's the same thing I'm going to tell you right now."

"Please tell me you're not going to quote Chuckles to me right now," Q moans. "Talk about kicking a superior being when he's down." Kathryn glares at him lightly.

" _Chakotay_ is a very wise man, Q, you'd do well to listen to him," she chastises. "Especially because this time he's absolutely right. We are only two creatures, Q. Granted, you're a highly powerful and omnipotent being, but even with all your power there's still billions of creatures out there that you have no control over. That I have no control over. They're going to do whatever they set out to do and all either of us can do is make the best decisions we can in the moment. It's easy to let guilt consume you in hindsight, when you've seen all the consequences that couldn't possibly have been foretold."

"But I could have! I'm a Q!"

"Maybe so. But you once told me that you only see _possibilities_ of the future, not absolute truths. I have a hard time believing you would have allowed Junior to bring me back from the dead if you knew exactly how it would turn out, or even chose to procreate him in the first place."

Q sighs and slumps down onto the bed again. "When did you get so wise, Kathy?" Kathryn smiles.

"When I chose to love the wisest person I know."

"I could take offense to that, you know, being one of the people you know," he jokes lightly. Kathryn sits down next to him.

"True. But then again, you aren't exactly a 'people'."

"Touche." Q reaches for both her hands this time and clutches them in against his chest. "I'm sorry, Kathy. For blaming you. For dragging you into the mess in the first place. For everything."

"There's nothing you need to be sorry for, Q. And even if I had been mad at you, I would have forgiven you around the time I finally learned to forgive myself. I'm just glad you're willing to be my friend again."

"So am I." He squeezes her hands then looks over at their reflection in the full-length mirror. "Although I must say, we do make a handsome pair. Are you absolutely certain you want to marry Chuckles today?" Kathryn laughs and extricates her hands to give him a playful nudge.

"Well we already did pay for the cake." She stands and crosses over to the mirror to admire the necklace up close. "And thank you again for the loan, Q. It's a beautiful necklace."

"Fit for an equally beautiful bride," Q answers. He gets up to cross the room and kisses Kathryn on the cheek. "Well, I better pop on over to the ceremony before all the good seats get taken."

"I take it you're staying for the wedding?"

"Wouldn't miss it for all the slave girls in Orion," he quips. "Plus I need to have a word with Chuckles before the ceremony begins." Kathryn's gaze darkens dangerously.

"Q," she practically growls. "If you do anything to hurt him…"

"Oh relax, Kathy, I thought we were past all this nasty suspicion. I just want to wish him good luck, that's all."

"You promise?"

"Q scout's honor." Kathryn sighs, knowing she can't do anything to prevent his popping in on Chakotay anyway.

"Fine. But the ceremony starts in ten minutes so you better make it quick."

"Aye, Admiral." He pops back in front of her in a flash of white light, then pecks her on the lips before she can even think to protest. With a smug grin, he raises his fingers. "See you in a few."

Another flash of white light and he's gone. Kathryn sighs, thankful to have an angry Q off her tail once and for all. Though she's wondering if a playful, flirty Q is really any better.

* * *

Chakotay is standing just outside the reception area with Tom, Harry, and the Doctor, all dressed handsomely in black tuxes and ties, with Chakotay's tie being white to distinguish him as the groom. Tuvok had been by their side too but he was called away by the whirlwind that is Gretchen, presumably to go over last minute escort duties and fetch Kathryn so that the wedding can officially begin.

His groomsmen are chatting amicably about something, but Chakotay has a hard time staying focused on their words. His thoughts continually drift back to Kathryn, imagining what she must be doing right now up in her childhood bedroom, how she must look. Though not a superstitious person in the least, she still hadn't allowed him to see her dress after she had purchased it with her mother and sister two days ago. She said she wanted him to be surprised, and now he finds that in these last few minutes of mystery the burning curiosity that had been with him since she bought the dress is now threatening to fan into a flame.

But even for all his happiness and anticipation, there is a niggling in the back of his mind. Something that colors his excited energy with a hint of unease. A pat on his back jolts him from his musings before he can analyze it further.

"Well Chakotay," Tom says, "it's almost time for us to take our places. Are you ready to give up those wild bachelor days for good?"

"Yeah, Chakotay," Harry pipes in, "no more late nights out. No more first dates with exotic alien women."

"Those always were your specialty, weren't they?" Tom teases. Chakotay glares at them both good-naturedly.

"I'm more than ready to give those up. At least now I know I'll never have to kiss another member of Species 8472 again."

"Or a secret Cardassian," the Doctor tosses in.

"Or a former Borg drone," Harry adds.

" _Two_ former Borg drones," Tom corrects, "there was Riley and Seven."

"But at least Seven wasn't using him to create a new collective," Harry points out.

"Well at least Riley wasn't so much younger than him that it looked like he was going through a mid-life crisis," Tom replies.

"Good point."

"Okay, I get it," Chakotay says to put a stop to their litany. "I've had lousy taste in women before. You don't have to rub it in. At the very least I've finally picked the right one to marry."

"Very true," the Doctor says happily as he clasps Chakotay's shoulder. "You and the Admiral make the perfect couple. I'm sure you'll be very happy together."

"Here, here," Q answers somewhat sardonically, appearing very suddenly in a flash of white light. All four men jump back startled, then Chakotay sighs.

"Q, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, just thought I'd pop in and offer my congratulations on such a happy occasion." Q walks over to Chakotay and gives him a once over. "You clean up good, Chuckles, I must admit. You're nowhere near as lovely as Kathy though, wait 'til you see her. I suspect those big, bulgy eyes of yours will finally fall the rest of the way out of your head."

"You've seen Kathryn?" Chakotay asks, his temper immediately flaring as he goes to stand toe-to-toe with the omnipotent being.

"Was just with her not two minutes ago," Q answers nonchalantly.

"Q, I swear if you've done anything to hurt her…"

Q merely rolls his eyes. "You'll what, Chuckles? Gaze into my eyes and spin me a morality tale disguised as an ancient legend? I'm a Q, remember? I can turn you into a cuddly little tribble before you could even lay a finger on me."

"I'm sure I can get in a few good hits before then." Q crosses his arms and smiles smugly even as Tom and Harry come over to flank Chakotay

"Are you still miffed about the whole 'wanting to mate with Kathy' thing? Or does it bother you that I got to share a bath with her even before you did?"

That did it. Chakotay launches himself at Q, not caring that he'll probably meet empty air when he gets there. Sure enough, Q is suddenly several feet away from him in a flash, and Chakotay is saved from planting face first into the grass only by Tom and Harry latching themselves to his arms. He continues to try and go after Q even as they hold him back.

"Let go of me!" he demands of them. "Let me try to get in just one good swing!"

"Oh calm down, Chuckles, would you? You'll wrinkle your nice little suit." Q snaps his fingers and the three men are separated. Chakotay tries to go after him again but finds himself rooted to his spot, able only to clench his fists and give Q a threatening glare. Q holds his hands up in a placating gesture. "Look, I'm sorry, all right? It wasn't my intention to get your Starfleet issue knickers all up in a twist. Kathy is _fine_. We had a nice little chat, cleared the air between us, and I came over here to get a good seat for the ceremony. Nothing more."

"I don't believe you," Chakotay says, anger still simmering. Q sighs.

"Comm her then." Q snaps his fingers and the men are finally able to move.

Chakotay glares suspiciously, still not entirely certain this isn't some trick as well. But worry gets the best of him and he pulls out his commbadge from his trouser pocket.

"Chakotay to Janeway."

There is silence on the line for a dreadful second, but then it comes alive and some shuffling is heard.

" _Janeway here. Is everything all right, Chakotay?_ "

"Not entirely. Q is here with me and I just wanted to make sure he's telling the truth when he said he did nothing to you."

" _I'm perfectly fine, I promise you_ ," she soothes him, and he finds himself unable to remain suspicious as a soft grin spreads across his face at the sound of her voice. " _I'm sorry he scared you._ "

"That's all right, I just needed to know you're okay. I'll see you in a few."

" _I can't wait. Janeway out._ "

He places his commbadge back into his pocket and looks at Q.

"I told you," Q snips and Chakotay tugs on his ear.

"I'm sorry, Q. But you can't blame me for being suspicious." Q sighs.

"No, I suppose not. And I'm sorry again for upsetting you before."

"Wow, two apologizes from Q in one day," Tom throws in. "Weddings really are magical."

"Yeah, just don't get used to it, Helm boy, the mercy only extends to you quartet of clowns because Kathy is so fond of all of you, for reasons I have yet to understand myself." Q approaches Tom, Harry, and the Doctor. "Now if you three will excuse me, I'd like to have a word with the bridegroom."

All three men cast anxious glances to their former commanding officer. Chakotay smiles reassuringly.

"Go ahead and take your places, I'll be all right." He can tell his friends are still uneasy, but they comply and pat him on the back as they walk towards the ceremony area. Chakotay turns his attention to Q and decides to extend the olive branch since Q is obviously making an effort to do the same.

"So how lovely does she look?" he asks, starting with perhaps their only common interest.

"Radiant, Chuckles, simply radiant," Q answers. "You're an incredibly lucky man."

"Of that I have no doubt," Chakotay assures him. "So did you really come here just to offer us your congratulations?"

"That, and to make amends with Kathy," Q replies. "I don't think I could have gone the rest of her life staying mad at her. And she didn't deserve it anyway."

"You hurt her, you know."

"I know, I know, and I already apologized to her profusely! No need to…what was it you said earlier? Rub it in?"

"All right, you're right. So long as you mean it, I can accept that."

"Good."

"Good?" Chakotay asks incredulously. "You mean, you actually _care_ what I think?"

"Yes," Q begrudgingly admits. "But not because I like you or anything, I can assure you that. It's because you're Kathy's person."

"I'm her what?"

"Her person. Her other half. The ying to her yang. The leola root to her stew. Surely you've heard of soulmates and all that romantic malarkey."

"Of course I have."

"And do you believe in it?"

"Somewhat, I suppose," Chakotay muses. "But I also think the matter of choices and free will come into play."

"Oh they do, I admit that," Q replies. "But believe me, Chuckles, I've seen a lot of crazy timelines involving the two of you in this little ol' multiverse of ours, and in every single one of them you two choose each other in some form or fashion."

"You mean, there are other versions of us out there?"

"Oh yes. Plenty of them."

"And Kathryn and I still end up together?"

"Well, for the most part. There's a version of the two of you living on some Delta Quadrant planet after _Voyager_ nearly gets blown to smithereens. And it's _that_ Chuckles' fault, really, he managed to convince that Kathy not to make an alliance with the Borg and the decision nearly wiped everyone out. Even managed to kill your pet Vulcan and the Helm hellion, in quite a brutal fashion too. But you both press on, and eventually you become a government official on that new little planet of yours. You and Kathy marry and produce a daughter, and I assume live happily ever after judging by the disgustingly happy look on all of your faces the last time I checked in."

Chakotay's head is swimming with the images Q's explanation is conjuring up, and with how easily he could have been the one living it. He nearly did try to talk Kathryn out of that alliance, had fought with her vehemently on what he thought was going to be the biggest mistake of their lives. But here they are, all in one piece and back on Earth. What if he had been successful? He's sure he would have been blissfully happy with Kathryn as his lover and mother of his daughter, but at the cost of Tuvok and Tom's lives? He shudders at the thought.

"Then there's the dozens of timelines where Kathy dies. You don't get together then, obviously, but you remain a lonely man, Chuckles, never quite finding the right woman to fill the Kathy void. Then, of course, there's the timeline that the other, far less pleasant Admiral Janeway managed to change."

Chakotay swallows hard, not really sure he wants to hear about that one. It had come so close to coming true…

"Well you're going to hear about it anyway," Q barks, reading his thoughts. "You do know you marry the blonde Borg, don't you?"

"Yes, and she dies in my arms a year later. Kathryn and Seven told me that much."

"Yeah well, what the Admiral didn't even tell your Kathy is that she was on that away mission with Seven when the accident occurred. They both were critically injured, both lying on biobeds in sickbay barely clinging to life while you floated uselessly between the two of them."

Chakotay feels his head begin to pound with a new ferocity as his breath shallows out at the thought. Q continues unmercifully.

"The hologram manages to stabilize Kathy in time, after quite a few scares. Your Borg does die in your arms though, and you're sad just like any good husband should be. But when you look over to Kathy, you also get a twinge of relief."

"Well that's understandable, I can't imagine any timeline where I wouldn't still care for Kathryn."

"Oh it's more than that. You were relieved that it wasn't _her_ who died."

Chakotay feels his stomach concave as if someone had punched it directly. "I-I can't-"

"Exactly. You were wracked with guilt over that little thought, so much so that as soon as Kathy came by your quarters to talk to you, you launched into a tirade about how it was her fault that Seven was dead since she was the one that picked her as a partner for that away mission."

"Oh Spirits…" Chakotay closes his eyes, imagining another version of himself misguiding his guilt and grief towards Kathryn and hating that man for it.

"You said some pretty awful things to her, Chuckles," Q says. "So much so that I almost showed up to give you a good thrashing myself, and I would have had I thought you were worth the effort."

"What-," Chakotay clears his throat, "what happened after that?"

"You came to your senses and apologized somewhat, and you two got back to being cordial with each other eventually. But neither of you were ever the same after that, and neither was your friendship."

"Well then I guess we don't end up together in _every_ timeline," Chakotay answers bitterly.

"Au contraire," Q answers. "Like I pointed out before, you don't end up as a couple every single time, but you still choose each other. In the Admiral's timeline, it takes twenty-three years for your little island of misfit toys to make it back to Earth. You make some pretty big leaps forward towards home along the way, shaving a few decades off your journey here and there. But then Starfleet and that scary half Klingon lady develop the slipstream drive together via the Midas Array and you're finally ready to make that last leap home. Then the Hadiians attack."

"Hadiians?"

"Nasty looking fellows. All slime and scales and xenophobia. They had a phaser like weapon that could slice through shields and hulls like Jibelian fudge cake. Just when you're about to employ the drive, they attack. Tommy boy manages to outrun them with some clever evasive maneuvers but they hit the ship a few times nonetheless. One beam cuts through the bridge and is heading straight for Kathy but…"

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes. Her ever faithful first officer pushes her out of the way and gets sliced himself. The slipstream drive kicks in before the Hadiians can take another pot shot, but it's too late. You're toast, Chuckles."

"And Kathryn?"

"She cuddles your dying head on the bridge while you cough up blood all over her. They try to get the Doctor to you as soon as they can but you both know it's too late. Then in the jerkiest of all jerk moves, you tell her you always loved her with your last dying breath, even when you know she can't do anything about it."

Chakotay can take no more. He turns away from Q and clenches his fists and eyes shut simultaneously, trying to will away the horrible images and emotions that accompany them. That timeline is gone, he keeps trying to remind himself. They won't suffer the same fate. But the Admiral Janeway he met had lived through it, and that fact makes the feelings all too real. A few tears slip down his cheeks as he whispers to Q. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"I want you to realize, Chakotay, how lucky you are to be living in this reality. In this moment. I know how deeply you suffered when you lost Kathy for those fourteen months. But they're in the past. And you finally get to have her in every way. So appreciate it. Because you could just as easily have been that Chakotay dying on the bridge in her arms. Or one of the ones that had to live without her because she died and stayed dead."

Chakotay listens to his words and takes them in, realizing that even though Q has gone about comforting him in a pretty twisted way, what he says actually makes sense. Maybe there is some part of him still angry with her for sacrificing herself to the Borg cube and later to Kashyk and his vigilante tribune. Maybe there's still a part of him that's terrified of losing her again and therefore lives in constant fear and holds himself back from her in some way.

But it is finally time to let all that go completely. Kathryn is everything he could ever want in a wife, a lover, and a best friend. He's loved her with his entire being for going on twelve years now, and the majority of that time has been spent apart from her. It's time to truly seize the now, this now that is so completely wonderful because he gets to hold her and kiss her and love her openly and freely like he's wanted since he met her. They'll be together forever after today, and now it's up to him to truly make the most of it. With great relief, he feels the last wisps of dread float away into nothingness.

Wiping his eyes, he turns to Q. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Although I must admit, I've also come to you with an ulterior motive." Chakotay finds that he has to chuckle.

"I would expect nothing less."

"I've come to warn you. I care for Kathy a great deal. She and Jean-Luc are my favorite humans, mostly because they're such fun to mess around with…and partially because they're so extraordinary."

"You won't get any argument from me," Chakotay assures him.

"And because I find her so fascinating, I will tell you this." Q closes the distance between them and glares at him menacingly. "If you ever hurt Kathy in any way, I will personally make sure the wrath of the continuum reigns down upon you, and like I told our old friend Quinn the first time we all had the pleasure of meeting, there's nowhere to hide from the continuum. Got it?"

Chakotay resists the urge to sigh even as he believes Q means every word he says. "Believe me, Q, I have no intention of hurting Kathryn. Not after loving her for so long and finally getting a chance to be with her this way. But if it makes you feel better, your warning is noted."

Q glares for another beat, then his demeanor does a 180. "Good!" He pats Chakotay on the upper arms then spins him around. "Now run along, Chuckles, I do believe that little spitfire of a mother-in-law is going to call you to your place at the altar right about….now!"

"Chakotay!" Gretchen's voice calls from a distance. Chakotay turns around to see Q gone, presumably flashing to his seat at the ceremony. Chakotay shakes his head and goes to meet Gretchen halfway. She rounds the tent just as he does.

"There you are, dear boy! I was wondering where you had run off to."

"Scared I was having second thoughts?" he teases, offering her his arm. Gretchen smiles a grin that reminds him so much of Kathryn his heart swells and she takes his arm.

"Considering how much you like my caramel brownies? Not a chance," she quips, then picks her pace. "But come on, we have to get you to the head of the altar. I've sent Tuvok to go fetch Kathryn and you know he'll insist on her being exactly on time for the scheduled beginning of the ceremony."

"Vulcan efficiency at its finest." Chakotay leads her across the short field and to the ceremony area. They make their way down the carpeted aisle, which is lined by rows of chairs that are filled with their family and closest friends. He escorts Gretchen to her chair in the very front row of Kathryn's side, bending down to kiss her cheek before taking his place at the head of the altar. Tom, Harry, and the Doctor are already lined up to his left, while B'Elanna, Phoebe, Sekaya, and Seven are lined up on the other side, waiting for Kathryn to join them. A hush has fallen over the gathered crowd, sensing that the ceremony is about to begin.

Chakotay takes this chance to scan the crowd. All of their family is here, and when he says all he means blood relatives and the _Voyager_ crew. They've all gathered to celebrate this occasion that he's heard has been long expected among the lower ranks, even before he and Kathryn made their relationship public. Hell, it was expected even before there was a relationship _to_ be made public. It thrills him to know that other people could see what he always saw between him and Kathryn, even if they both took their own sweet time acknowledging it. They obviously belong together, and as the music switches to the bridal march and the crowd stands to look back for the arrival of the bride, he feels gratitude engulf him in waves that they are finally, _finally_ , going to make that bond permanent.

* * *

Kathryn is adjusting her veil one last time when a knock sounds on her door.

"Come in." She sees Tuvok in the mirror's reflection and her stomach somersaults with excitement. She turns to him with a grin and sees his eyebrows arch and head tilt ever so slightly. An obvious sign of pleasant surprise to anyone who knows him well.

"Admiral," he says, his tone softer than usual and eyes slightly alight, "your look is….pleasing."

High praise indeed coming from him. She can't help the tears that sting her eyes as she beams at him, the first of many tears and smiles on this day, she's sure.

"Thank you, Tuvok. Is it time?"

"That it is. But before we depart, I have a gift." He pulls out a lovely bouquet of the most vibrant flowers she's ever seen. They're peach in color and look almost like they're made out of silk.

"Oh Tuvok," she breathes, taking the bouquet with reverence, "they're beautiful. Did you grow them yourself?"

"Indeed. It is a new hybrid that I have created. I am aware that you and the Captain have chosen peace roses as your flower, but I thought the bouquet you carry down the aisle should be more…unique."

Tears can't help but escape now, and Kathryn hastily wipes them away before she has to fix her makeup yet again. She looks up at Tuvok and places a hand on his chest for a brief moment.

"Thank you, old friend. I'll treasure them always." Tuvok nods.

"You are welcome." His tone remains neutral, but after years of being his friend, she knows how to look for the signs that he cares for her. This bouquet is a big one. He offers her his arm. "Shall we, Admiral?"

She takes his arm with a smile and they begin to exit the house. "It's just Kathryn today, Tuvok, remember?"

"Kathryn it is then," he complies, mostly because he still respects her authority, she knows, and there's slim chance that he'll address her by name again for the rest of the day. But hearing him say her name even once thrills her nonetheless. He means so much to her, and it's nice to have all the little signs that she might just mean a great deal to him as well.

Tuvok escorts her out of the house and around the tent towards the ceremony area. She can hear the strains of the bridal march begin as she approaches, and she suddenly and unexpectedly begins to feel nervous. Perhaps it's her years of intense Starfleet training, or all those years of hostile surprises in the Delta Quadrant, but now as she approaches the moment she's been waiting for, she finds herself expecting chaos to reign down upon it. A surprise Borg attack. Q changing his mind and turning everyone into dust mites.

But then she arrives on the carpeted aisle and sees the faces of all their friends and family beaming at her, and some of her anxiety dissipates. It vanishes completely when her gaze finally lands on Chakotay at the head of the altar, and all other thoughts leave her along with her breath.

He's even more handsome than she had imagined, standing tall and proud in his perfectly tailored tux that shows off the broad shoulders she so loves to fondle. But the thing that has her gaze tunnel-visioning to see only him is his eyes. They're simply radiating a love and adoration that she's sure she'll never fully deserve. But she returns it. Oh boy, does she ever return it. She can feel it squeezing her heart and warming her soul, and she wants nothing more to spend the next fifty, a hundred, or even a thousand years giving it all to him.

Kathryn finally arrives at the altar, turns to Tuvok, and gives him a quick peck on the cheek before he goes to stand next to the Doctor and she takes her place next to Chakotay. She smiles warmly at Admiral Patterson, her old mentor who escorted her around _Voyager_ for the first time and who's remained a good friend for many years. It seems only appropriate that he officiate the ceremony. She feels a quick pang of loss over the fact that Owen Paris isn't alive to do the honors, which quickly blooms into missing all the family and friends she's lost over the years, from _Voyager_ and before and after.

She quickly shakes off that thought, though, and focuses back in on Chakotay's loving gaze. She will always miss those who have been lost prematurely, and will remember them fondly. But she must also live in the now and enjoy every minute of it. He taught her that.

The ceremony passes by in a euphoric blur. She goes through the motions of repeating official vows, too lost in the thought "Chakotay will be my husband," playing on loop in her head to pay much attention to the ritualistic side of the event.

It's only when they exchange their own personal vows that her happy daze is pierced by the words that Chakotay shares with her as if they were the only two people present. He vows to love her and stay by her side, just as he did when he spun her that ancient legend so long ago. He tells her how completely happy he is that he's allowed to be in her life, how privileged he feels, how much he doesn't deserve her. She cries at that, then cries even more when she shares her own vows that very much echo what he told her and she sees tears fall freely down his own face. They're both weepy messes when Tom and B'Elanna hand them the rings that they slip onto each other's fingers.

Kathryn wipes the tears off her cheeks and glances over at Admiral Patterson, wondering what comes next. She is utterly delighted when she hears his next words.

"By the power invested in me through Starfleet Command and the United Federation of Planets, I now pronounce you husband and wife."

"Finally," Tom quips, sending a rippling of laughter through the audience. Kathryn and Chakotay beam at each other.

"Chakotay," Admiral Patterson concludes happily. "You may kiss your bride."

Chakotay leans forward eagerly and captures Kathryn in an ardent kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist as she throws hers over his neck. She dimly hears the crowd cheering and whistling, but she's too lost in the sensation of kissing her new husband to pay it much heed. Had he not pulled back, she might have just stayed there forever.

"We're still in public, remember?" he murmurs to her teasingly. She grins at him mischievously.

"We're husband and wife now, we're expected to ravage each other." Chakotay chuckles then cups her face, staring at her reverently.

"Wife.." he says wistfully, almost to himself.

"Yes, I'm your wife," Kathryn breathes. "Forever and ever."

"Sounds good to me." He kisses her quickly one last time before they turn and face the still roaring crowd. Hand in hand they walk down the aisle to the area where the Doctor _insists_ he needs to take holoimages of the newlyweds before they can join the others at the reception.

Chakotay pulls Kathryn along, the feel of his warm hand interrupted only by coolness of the silver band on his ring finger that presses into her palm, and that symbolizes his eternal commitment to her. Behind her she can hear the voices of their loved ones making their way towards the tented area in the backyard. The sun is just beginning to set, lending a cool breeze to the burgeoning evening and splaying brilliant colors across the sky. Life is ridiculously, and finally, perfect.

* * *

Chakotay stands on the side of the dance floor, watching his new wife spin elegantly around in the arms of Q to an upbeat jazzy tune played by the holographic band. It was him only a few minutes ago that was dancing with her, actually, but in a dizzying flash they had been suddenly separated and Q was holding her close while asking cheekily, "Mind if I cut in?" Chakotay was miffed for a second, but knowing there wasn't much either of them could do about it, he had mumbled, "It doesn't seem like I have much choice in the matter," and let the omnipotent being have his turn with the bride. Kathryn seems to be enjoying herself though, laughing as Q twirls and dips her playfully, so he decides to let the unceremonious way he had been hauled from her arms slide.

Instead he takes a brief respite to truly appreciate the setting. Gretchen and Phoebe have really outdone themselves with the decorating. A dancefloor and a stage take up the center of the tented area, and it's surrounded by elegant round tables covered in creamy tablecloths and beautiful centerpieces featuring candles and peach peace roses. The tent itself has an elegant, silky air, and is just thin enough to see the stars shining through the top when you look up. Beautiful chandeliers hang over the tables for extra illumination, with the biggest and grandest one floating over the table reserved for him and Kathryn alone. It's a paradise of soft lights and creamy textures, giving the simple setting a classy yet homey feel. Hard to believe this was still merely a backyard a few days ago.

The guest list is equally impressive. Starfleet's top brass and some of the more illustrious crewmembers of the _Enterprise_ mix with the infamous _Voyager_ crew and their families. Even Neelix has been able to make an appearance. The Doctor surprised them earlier with the news that Seven had been able to finagle the Midas Array into an instantaneous communication device to the Delta Quadrant thanks to new advances in the slipstream drive, and unbeknownst to them, Neelix was able to "attend" the ceremony via a small comm unit the Doctor had in his possession. Now Naomi Wildman "escorts" Neelix around the reception, greeting various guests as if he's here in person. Kathryn had actually been close to tears when she discovered that the entire family had indeed been able to be present for this happy occasion.

At that thought, Chakotay glances over at Kathryn again and sees that Q has actually conceded to allow Admiral Patterson to dance with her. He pouts a bit for missing his opportunity to steal her back, but understands that she'll probably have her dance card full for large portions of the evening. He'll just have to catch his wife for a dance when the next soft, romantic tune strikes up.

Wife. The word bounces around in Chakotay's head with exuberance. He can't believe he's actually married. He can't believe he's actually married to _her._ He's loathe to think back to all those unpleasant times now, but there were lots of times on _Voyager_ when he never believed they would end up together like this, no matter how much they may have loved each other then. Sometimes he wishes he could go back in time and comfort that version of himself with the future knowledge that yes, one day they will have the impossible. One day he will get to hold the woman who brings him peace in his arms and love her freely and forever. There will be a hell of a lot of pain along the way, but he would tell past him that in the end, it will most definitely be worth it.

Speaking of pain, Chakotay spots Mark Johnson standing directly across him on the other side of the dance floor, watching his own wife, Carla, and their son, Kevin, dancing sweetly a few feet away. He likes the man well enough, and he hasn't exactly gone out of his way to avoid him, but he doesn't exactly seek him out either. The last time he spoke to Mark was the awful moment he came to Venice to tell him of Kathryn's death, and despite everything he has now, looking at Mark still wrenches his heart anew.

But these past few days have been the time of amends, it seems, and Chakotay knows that his avoidance of Mark needs to end today. He's still a good friend to Kathryn, and he knows Mark still cares for her deeply as well. And he was a good friend to Chakotay on that day in Venice too. Everything was a horrible blur for the most part, but he remembers that Mark got him to a transporter station while he stumbled around lost in the roar of impending crushing grief. And he stayed by Chakotay's side until they made it to Paris household, where Tom's agonized expression finally collapsed Chakotay into a heap of wrenching sobs in their living room. Mark even went back and collected the rocks that had adorned the mirror Chakotay had intended on giving back to Kathryn before he dropped it, returning them to him a few days after the memorial service.

With new resolve, Chakotay rounds the dancefloor and approaches Kathryn's former fiancé.

"Having fun?" Chakotay asks. Mark turns to him and grins.

"When I can keep Kevin from attacking the cake before you and Kath even get a chance to cut it, yes." Chakotay laughs good-naturedly.

"I'll be sure to save him one of the first slices when we finally do." A comfortable silence falls as the men watch their respective wives dance. Chakotay doesn't exactly know how to organically bring up what he wants to say so he just cuts to the chase.

"Mark, there's something I've been wanting to say to you, and I must apologize for not doing so much earlier than this, but I just wanted to thank you for being there for me that day in Venice. I know it must have been….difficult for you to relay that news to me, but you stuck by me even afterwards, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

Mark smiles sadly. "That was indeed a hard day for all of us. But you're most welcome. I would still do anything for Kath, she is and has been one of my best friends for most of my life."

Mark looks rather wistfully over at Kathryn and Chakotay is filled with a newfound appreciation and sympathy for all he's been through with her. If he loved her even half as much as Chakotay loves her now, it must have hurt like hell to lose her when _Voyager_ disappeared, and Chakotay can certainly empathize with the pain of losing a woman like Kathryn. He's glad Mark was able to find Carla to make him happy again.

"You're still very important to her too, Mark," Chakotay tells him while clasping a friendly hand on his shoulder. "And you and your family are welcome at our house anytime."

Mark grins. "You won't be saying that long after Kevin gets a chance to torpedo through the place."

"Oh, we faced all sorts of big, scary enemies in the Delta Quadrant. I'm sure we can handle it."

As if on cue, Kevin comes barreling from his mother's arms and careens into Chakotay's chins with impressive force to envelope him in a hug. With an oof, Chakotay struggles to regain his balance before he topples over on the kid. Meanwhile, Kevin states his demands. "I want cake, Uncle Kotay! When will you and Aunt Kath finally cut it?"

"Then again, maybe not," Chakotay quips to the boy's father. Mark laughs.

"Come on, son, go back and dance with your mother. Uncle Chakotay has promised to save you one of the first pieces." Kevin gives them a toothy grin then runs back to Carla. "I'm sorry, we're trying to get him to be a little less tyrannical, but as you can see it's a work in progress."

Chakotay chuckles. "He's a good kid. And I'm sure you'll miss this spunk once he's grown. I'm certain he'll make you both proud."

Mark gives him a kind smile. "I'm so glad Kath has found someone like you, Chakotay. She can be a little…."

"Stubborn? Bull-headed? Impetuous?" Chakotay supplies teasingly. Mark smirks.

"To name a few traits," he answers. "But it's borne of a passion that I know we both admire. I'm just glad she has someone like you to temper her. She needed someone like you more than someone like me."

"I'm sure you would have kept her grounded too."

"Probably," Mark concedes, "but perhaps a little _too_ grounded. She needed someone like you who could feed her passion for exploration and risk-taking while also keeping her safe. She had that with her first fiancé, and though I know she loved me, and I her, I don't think it was ever on the same level."

Chakotay stayed quiet, not wanting to admit that Kathryn told him something quite similar on their holographic Venice date on _Voyager._ Mark continued.

"And now I've honestly never seen her happier, not since before her father and Justin died. Maybe not even then. You're perfect for her."

"She's perfect for me, actually. She gives me peace and contentment like I've never known in my entire life. I've never been happier either."

"I'm glad, you both deserve that and so much more." Mark turns to Chakotay and sticks out his hand. "So let me offer my sincerest congratulations, Chakotay, and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness."

Instead of taking his hand, Chakotay gives him a quick, brotherly hug, then pulls back to pat him on the shoulder again. "Thank you, Mark. For everything."

"Well I did come over to ask you to dance, but it seems you may have found someone you would prefer over your new wife," a husky voice Chakotay adores teases from behind him. He turns to give said new wife a cheeky smile.

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for anyone with colored eyes."

"Just any color?" she asks slyly. Chakotay pretends to consider it.

"Well, I did always have a particular fondness for the blue-grey variety."

Kathryn laughs then turns her attention to Mark. "Mind if I steal him from you, Mark? They're about to play one of my favorites."

"Not at all, Kath," he assures her. "But before you go, let me repeat what I just told your husband here. Congratulations, and I hope you live a long and happy life together." He bends down and kisses Kathryn on the cheek.

"Thank you, Mark. That means a lot coming from you." The strains of a song Chakotay is sure he's heard before starts up and Kathryn takes hold of his hand before addressing Mark. "Don't forget to send Kevin over for that big slice of cake I promised him."

"I couldn't forget even if I wanted to, what with his constant demands." Kathryn laughs then turns away to lead Chakotay over to the dance floor. As they begin to sway in each other's arms, the holographic singer begins the song and he finally recognizes it as an ancient classic from Earth's very early twentieth century, "The Way You Look Tonight". _Incredibly appropriate_ , he thinks, as he looks down upon the beauty that is Kathryn, resplendent in her white gown that seems to have been made specifically to grace her. The moment she had come into view on the aisle at the ceremony, Chakotay was spellbound, and reminded that even though he would love her no matter what she looks like, he's incredibly lucky to have someone as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside to call his own.

"What are you thinking?" Kathryn asks, pulling him back to the present.

"How there really is nothing for me but to love you," he tells her, echoing the lyrics of the song, "but not just for tonight." Kathryn grins.

"Good, because I intend to keep you for _a lot_ longer than just tonight."

"And I fully intend on being kept," Chakotay responds, bending down to kiss her sweetly. Then she lays her head on his shoulder and sighs contently as they continue to sway to the song.

"Q told me a bit about what you and he discussed," Kathryn says into his shoulder before she lifts her head to look at him again.

"Not the most cheery topic for such a happy day," he answers.

"Definitely not. But it does put everything into perspective, doesn't it?" She looks around. "How lucky we are to be here in this moment, finally together, with most of our loved ones around. How easily it could have gone any other way."

"Like the timeline the other Admiral Janeway lived," Chakotay says somberly.

"Yes, or the thousands of other ways our lives could have changed. Like if we never got swept away by the Caretaker and I had to turn you and all the other Maquis over to Starfleet Command. Or if they had given command of _Voyager_ to Will Riker like they had considered."

Chakotay smiles bemusedly at that. "You mean I could have fallen madly in love with Will Riker instead of you?"

Kathryn grins and teases. "And imagine what ruggedly handsome children you would have had together." Chakotay's heart jumps a bit at the mention of children and the implication that this marriage will, too, result in them. He vows to bring up the topic with her at a more appropriate time. Right now, he just pulls her closer.

"Well, however many Kathryn and Chakotay's there are out there, whatever lives their leading, I wish them the best. But I, for one, am eternally grateful to be living this life here, right now, with you. There's nowhere else I'd rather be, Kathryn. No one else I'd rather be. You're it for me for the rest of my life."

Kathryn stares deeply into his eyes, blue-grey pools burrowing into his heart and fanning the flames of his love for her again and again. "I feel the same, Chakotay. I've never loved anyone like I love you. Never needed anyone this badly. It's a little scary."

"Scary," he agrees, "but wonderful."

"Completely wonderful." The song ends but the band seems to sense the lingering romantic atmosphere, so the tune melts into another slow, melodious love song. "That's All", another early twentieth century standard, he realizes vaguely. More and more couples have filled up the dance floor, and though he can sense their presence, nothing is more real or important to Chakotay than the feel of his wife in his arms, the way the silky texture of her beautiful dress almost does justice to the silky warmth of her hand in his own. She is staring at him with open adoration.

"Are you with me?" she asks in a slightly teasing manner, fishing for his customary answer.

"Always," he tells her, but then adds, "Always and forever, Kathryn."

She beams at him and stretches to her full height for a kiss. He obliges, kissing her slowly and sweetly, not caring in the least that it's in full display of people who will surely tease him about how they were "all over each other" later.

When they break apart, Kathryn lays again on his shoulder, and Chakotay rests his chin on top of her head. He takes the time to survey the reception. Sekaya is sitting with Gretchen and Phoebe, looking at what he's sure are embarrassing pictures of him on a PADD, considering how enthusiastically Sekaya is talking and pointing to the screen. Tuvok, Seven, and Hugh Cambridge are at another table with the comm unit that is Neelix for the day, all conversing quietly. Harry is a few feet away on the dance floor, somewhat awkwardly trying to sway with a graceful Nancy to the rhythm of the song. Icheb is dancing with Naomi right next to them, with her parents also dancing a few feet away. The Doctor is wandering around merrily snapping away with his holoimager. Tom and B'Elanna are standing with Mark and Carla, laughing and trying more ardently to keep Kevin from the cake now that he's recruited Miral to be his partner in crime.

Everyone he loves and cares about is here. They are all happy and safe. He's holding the love of his life in his arms, and now that they're married he never has to let her go. Chakotay thinks again how he'd be perfectly content to stay right here in this moment forever.

Then again, when the moments involve Kathryn, he's thought that more times than he can count.

* * *

Kathryn strides happily through Starfleet Medical, for once not completely annoyed to be there. She's just come away from Admiral Patterson's office, who surprised her with the news that Starfleet has granted her and Chakotay three extra weeks of leave for their honeymoon, meaning they won't have to rush through their trip around Europe like that had originally thought. Now all that's left to do is get her regular check-up with the Doctor out of the way and she's free to spend four glorious weeks of peace and quiet with her new handsome husband. She rounds the corner and breezes into the Doctor's office.

"Good morning, Doctor," she calls cheerily, then hops onto the biobed. The Doctor puts down the lab samples he had been working on and crosses over to her with a surprised smile.

"Hello, Admiral. I think this is the first time you've ever been anything but completely morose for one of your check-ups." He glances over at the chronometer. "And early, I might add."

Kathryn grins. "Just eager to get everything squared away so I can go on my _month long_ honeymoon with Chakotay."

"Month long?" he asks as he begins scanning her with his medical tricorder. "I thought you two would only be gone a week."

"I thought so too, but Starfleet just informed me they extended our leave."

"Well good for the both of you," the Doctor says merrily as he snaps his tricorder closed. "And the even more good news is that you're fit as a fiddle." He pulls out a couple of hyposprays and adjusts the dosages. "These are your regular supply of vitamins. And there's a bit of a flu epidemic going around Europe so I'm also giving you a preventative supplement. Both with last well past the month you'll be gone."

He applies the hyposprays to her neck, then holds up the last one. "This one requires a bit of discussion."

"Why, what is it?"

"Your contraceptive booster."

Kathryn's eyebrows shoot up. "You've never felt the need to discuss that with me before, you've always just administered it." The Doctor clears his holographic throat.

"Well, technically I have the medical right to discuss the option of passing on it before every administration. But seeing as how you weren't in a committed relationship while on _Voyager_ , I never really felt the need. Had you come to me wanting to discuss the option, of course I would have obliged. Have you…discussed the possibility of having a child with your husband?"

Kathryn pauses and reflects inwardly. She's always wanted children, but after all these years she thought the possibility was far behind her.

"Admiral?" the Doctor says gently.

"We...we haven't talked about it," she admits to him. "I just thought, with our advanced ages and all…"

"Well, it's not out of the realm of possibility at all," the Doctor answers. "Men are perfectly capable of producing children for pretty much their entire lives. As for you, there's something I should point out."

"What is it?"

"Do you remember back when you first returned from…the dead," he pauses and Kathryn's heart aches at how he still speaks of that painful time with difficulty, "and I examined you and said you came back even healthier than before?"

"Yes."

"Well, that didn't just go for the issue in your brain that Q's son and Kes were able to fix. It went for all other body parts as well, including your reproductive organs." Kathryn sits back a little, stunned.

"So what you're saying is…"

"What I'm saying is there's no reason why you and the Captain can't produce a child. From a medical standing, you have the reproductive organs of a woman half your age."

Kathryn is floored for a bit, the idea of having a child suddenly a very real and tantalizing possibility. A smile plays at her lips and the Doctor notes it.

"Obviously," he continues, "someone thought you would make a great mother, and my bet would be on Kes."

"A mother…" she says almost reverently. Her mind instantly conjures up images of her children, strong tanned boys with their father's dimples, stubborn redheaded little girls dusted with freckles. The Doctor clears his throat.

"Shall I set this aside?" he asks gently, holding up the hypospray. Kathryn hesitates. She has a vague idea that she knows what she wants, but she really does need to discuss it with her husband too.

"Does Chakotay have an appointment with you tomorrow?"

"Yes, first thing in the morning."

"And you'd administer his booster at that time too, wouldn't you?"

"Unless he indicates otherwise, yes."

"So even if I decide to skip mine, we'd still be okay with his?"

"Of course."

"Good," she says a little absent-mindedly. They'll discuss it tonight, this momentous decisions that could alter the rest of their lives, and still have a backup in case they decide to put it off for a while. That makes her own decision a whole lot easier. With new resolve and a smile, she hops off the biobed.

"Thank you, Doctor. If there's nothing else, I'll see you in a few weeks."

The Doctor, picking up on the significance of her decision, beams at her.

"You're welcome, Admiral. Have a great honeymoon." With one last smile she turns and leaves his office, wondering if the next time she steps back in here will be when she comes to hear the heartbeat of a child she thought she'd never have.

* * *

Chakotay strolls quickly through Starfleet Medical and into the Doctor's office the next day, grinning from ear to ear. The Doctor looks up from his console and stands to greet him with a smile.

"Ah, Captain, good to see you. Here for your round of hypos?"

"Indeed I am, Doctor," Chakotay tells him, pure happiness coating his words. "All but one."

The Doctor pauses in his supply gathering, then turns to Chakotay with a look that tells him he knows exactly what he's referring to.

If Chakotay didn't know any better, he could have sworn he heard the hologram choke back a very human sob.


	4. And Unauthorized Lifesign Makes Three

A month and a half later, Kathryn is happily and yet still somewhat reluctantly back at headquarters and to her life as a highly decorated Starfleet Admiral. The honeymoon had been an absolute dream, in that it was all at once wonderful and passed by far too fast for her liking. They had visited every part of Europe and Asia they were never able to enjoy when their working lives kept them too busy, indulging in fascinating exploration, exquisite cuisine, and the peace of each other's exclusive company. Now reality once again rears its ugly head. Well, ugly may be too harsh of a word. She truly does enjoy her work with the admiralty (most of the time) and she's never been the type to tolerate lazing about for very long. But still, some part of her continually longs for the languid, carefree days wrapped in Chakotay's presence, even after a couple of weeks of being back to the grindstone.

Shaking those distracting thoughts off, Kathryn crosses her office to the replicator to retrieve the cup of coffee she ordered, never once taking her eyes off the PADD in her hand. She reaches for the cup only to feel her hand swoop through empty air.

Confused, she finally looks up from her PADD and sees no coffee. She rolls her eyes at herself, only now recalling that it would help to actually speak her order to the replicator _out loud_ as she had neglected to do before.

"Coffee, black." The replicator obediently reproduces her liquid sanity and she immediately picks it up to take a sip while returning her eyes to the PADD in her other hand. Crossing back to her desk, she sits down and drains the cup in three quick gulps. Putting aside the empty cup, she suddenly realizes that while her eyes have been making a show of reading the data, her brain hasn't actually chosen to participate and she can't recall a single word of the last three paragraphs she just read. She sighs and picks up her cup to take a sip, only to sigh louder when she belatedly remembers that she drained it not two minutes ago.

Rolling her eyes, she puts the cup down with a clunk and scrubs her face. _Get it together, Janeway_ , she tells herself. _You may have been on your honeymoon recently but that's no excuse for letting your brain go soft._

Kathryn smiles as she glances over at the holoimage adorning a place of honor on her desk, her favorite picture of her and Chakotay at their wedding reception. The Doctor had gone crazy with his holoimager that day, snapping away even when they weren't aware of his presence. As a result, he managed to catch a very candid moment of Chakotay and Kathryn dancing and gazing into each other's eyes as if they were the only two in the galaxy. Thinking back to that moment, she remembers that that's in fact how it very much felt.

She sighs and tears her eyes away from the image, chastising herself for getting even more distracted than she's already been. Three months leave plus a wedding plus a little extra time away for a honeymoon seems to have done a number on her higher brain functions. She's been having more trouble than usual getting back into command mode…or even reading mode, for that matter.

In truth, she hasn't been feeling quite right for some time now. It isn't so much a physical discomfort, although she is beginning to feel the early signs of a roiling stomach thanks to the coffee she drank way too fast. It's more of a nagging feeling of off-ness somehow, and not really one she can logically prove to anyone but herself. But then again, even the fact that coffee could have any sort of negative effect on her is a pretty tell-tale sign that something isn't quite right. She's been practically mainlining the stuff since she was a teenager.

Kathryn sighs and shakes off the feeling, picking up the PADD with a new found determination to beat whatever it is that has her off her kilt. Admitting something is wrong means submitting herself to a trip to see the Doctor, especially if her husband gets wind of anything. And as much as she loves seeing the Doctor on social occasions, a medical visit would only get her a round of hyposprays and an endless stream of lectures about her long working hours and coffee abuse.

She just manages to get herself legitimately immersed in work when her commbadge chirps.

" _Ayala to Janeway."_ Kathryn smiles at the familiar voice, once again glad that Mike decided to take a posting as head of Starfleet security at HQ to be closer to his family. It makes her feel more connected to the old days of _Voyager_ again. She taps her commbadge.

"Janeway here."

" _Admiral, do you have a visitor with you in your office?"_

Kathryn looks around, rather dumbly she realizes because she already knows her answer. "No, no one in here but me. Why do you ask?"

" _A routine sensor sweep shows an unauthorized lifesign in your office. It might be a malfunction from this morning's systems maintenance, but I'm on my way up just in case. Please arm yourself, Admiral, I'll be right there."_

Immediately alert, Kathryn jumps up from her chair so fast her head swims a little and grabs the phaser clipped under her desk. "Acknowledged. Janeway out."

She opens the drawer in her desk and grabs her tricorder, keeping her phaser at the ready and pointing it at what she hopes is the general direction of the unseen assailant. She knows it could be a simple malfunction as Mike said, especially since she can't detect anything with her naked eye, but her years in the Delta Quadrant have taught her that nothing is really impossible. There could be some invisible entity in her presence, and she'll be damned if she's going to be caught with her guard down.

Her tricorder beeps an alert that there is indeed an additional lifesign besides her own, very faint but present nonetheless. She sweeps the tricorder around her desk then around the rest of her office, keeping her finger on the phaser's trigger. Whoever is in her office, it seems to be following her.

Mike enters a few seconds later, his own phaser and tricorder drawn in each hand.

"Are you all right, Admiral?"

"Fine. But there definitely is another lifesign in here. I just can't pinpoint it, it's very faint."

"I'm reading it too," Mike answers with his eyes on his tricorder. He moves away from Kathryn to sweep the opposite side of the room while she continues to scan her area. The lifesign stays with her but she can't determine a specific location or even a species.

"That's strange," Mike pipes up a corner of the office.

"What is?"

"The further I move away from you, the fainter it gets." He comes back towards her with his tricorder and phaser pointed.

"Do you think it's drawn to me somehow?"

"Possibly." He studies his readings, brow furrowed, then realization seems to dawn on his face. "Admiral, I think I have a theory."

Before she can ask questions, Kathryn watches as he clips his standard tricorder back on his belt and pulls out a medical one instead. He begins to scan her.

"Am I going to get an explanation anytime soon, Mike?" she asks, trying to keep her tone light but inside she's burning with curiosity and just a hint of irritation.

"I'm sorry Admiral, I just have a suspicion that-," he cuts off and looks at her with wide eyes. "Admiral….according to these readings, you're…pregnant."

Mike's last words cut through the haze that had been clouding her brain as if he had just shot her with the phaser he's still holding. "Preg-pregnant?" she asks breathlessly. "Are you sure?"

"Well, we only received basic medical training in case we need to help any injured, but these are readings we were taught to recognize with absolute certainty."

Kathryn puts a shaky hand to her midsection and stares into nothingness with what she's sure are comically large eyes. "Pregnant," she says again, then a grin spreads across her face when the word finally begins to coalesce into a stunning and wonderful reality. _I'm going to be a mother. And Chakotay's going to be a…._

She beams at Mike and notices for the first time that he's smiling as well. As one of Chakotay's closest friends and a father himself, he probably arrived at the same thought long before she did.

"Permission to hug the admiral?" he asks with barely restrained delight.

"Permission most definitely granted." Kathryn laughs when he engulfs her in a tight bear hug and feels happy tears prick the corners of her eyes.

"Congratulations, Admiral," he says into her hair. "To you and the Captain. I know the Big Guy's going to be thrilled."

"Thank you," she answers breathlessly. When he lets her go, she wipes at the tears and takes the medical tricorder from his hands. "Is that the baby's lifesign?"

"Yes, right there," Mike says, pointing to the faint little line under the much bolder one, hers she presumes. She feels tears again, realizing vaguely that she could very well be hormonal already. "The sensors probably picked it up and didn't recognize it. We can recalibrate them to register the extra lifesign tonight, no problem."

"Great," Kathryn says absently, still staring at the little line. That is her child. Her's and Chakotay's…

"Oh Mike!" she blurts out. "You can't put this on report just yet. I don't want anyone else to know until I've had a chance to tell Chakotay."

Mike smiles. "Not a problem. I have at least 'til morning before I have to turn in a log. And your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you, Mike," she smiles and pats his arm. "I know I can trust you. I'll tell him tonight, I promise."

 _Now the question is how_ , she thinks, already giddy with anticipation. Kathryn knows Chakotay has always loved and wanted children. He admitted to her when they discussed the possibility about a month ago that he had given up hope of ever having any at his advanced age. She had too, admittedly, despite the Doctor's prognosis before they had left for their honeymoon. But it seems that fate finally decided smile down upon them and grant them yet another dream they thought had eluded them forever, even after being granted the already wonderful dream of finally being together. Chakotay will be beyond thrilled.

Suddenly an idea occurs to her. She turns to Mike and smiles mischievously.

"Mike, how soon can you write up that report?"

* * *

Chakotay adjusts the messenger bag on his shoulder and sighs as he makes his way down the block to his and Kathryn's Starfleet issued apartment, grateful for the manageable walking distance after such a long and trying day.

He still doesn't regret trading starship flying for Academy teaching. He loves the work and it allows him a normal home life with his wife, something he's wanted for a very long time. But on days like this, when meetings run long, students ask questions that he's sure he had covered nearly a hundred times in the lecture, and hot tea decides to leap out of its proper place in its cup and onto his shirt, he can't help but give in to a little bitter grumbling. But at least he has only a few more summer class sessions before getting a brief respite until the fall classes start up. Right now though, he's perfectly content to have a nice, quiet dinner with Kathryn and then maybe a long soak in their tub….also preferably with Kathryn.

He arrives at their building and takes the 'lift up to their high rise flat. He still considers the place a temporary housing, albeit a very nice one thanks to the perks of being married to an admiral, but he's starting to really like it after living there through some of the biggest and happiest events of his life. He might even miss it when they finally move on to greener and more permanent pastures.

Chakotay walks through the door still dreaming of houses and gardens when he looks up and stops dead in his tracks. Their large living room is sparsely lit by a low level lighting and many candles spread throughout the room. The couches are pushed aside and a lovely, romantic dinner for two has taken their place. Soft, jazzy music plays in the background. He's starting to wonder if he has the right apartment when Kathryn comes out from the kitchen, dressed in a simple but elegant black cocktail dress and looking absolutely beautiful. She is carrying a plate of surprisingly delicious looking food and grins when she spots him.

"Oh good, you're home," she says as she puts in the plate down in front of one of the place settings. Chakotay drops his messenger bag by the door and begins to walk over to her.

"Indeed I am." He looks around. "It was me you were expecting, wasn't it?" Kathryn laughs and stands on her tiptoes to kiss him when he finally reaches her side.

"This time," she jests, eliciting a low chuckle from him.

"So what's the occasion? You're not proposing, are you? Because I'm pretty sure we sealed that deal over a month ago." He grins when she thumps him on the chest for his teasing and rounds the table to stand in front of her seat, gesturing with a flourish.

"Can't a wife have a romantic home-cooked dinner waiting for her husband when he gets home from a long day at work without any ulterior motive?"

Chakotay channels Tuvok and raises an eyebrow. "Home-cooked?"

She relents. "Okay, can't a wife beg her mother to beam over said home-cooked meal so she doesn't kill her husband only a month into their marriage?" Chakotay laughs and crosses over to her side of the table.

"Well it was cooked in a home so I guess it still counts." He bends down to give her another kiss, a lingering one this time. He pulls away before he begins to forget about the dinner. "And it's a lovely gesture. Thank you. I could really use it after a day like today."

"Oh?" Kathryn asks as Chakotay pulls out her chair and lets her sit before crossing to his own. "The youngsters giving you a hard time already?"

"Yes, but only slightly more than usual."

"You'd think years of trying to reign in Tom and Harry would have you used to that by now," she jokes. He chuckles.

"You would think."

They continue their light banter over a wonderful meal that he'll definitely have to thank Gretchen for later. But he doesn't believe for a second that she didn't have an ulterior motive for planning this romantic setting, and he knows her well enough to tell easily that she's sitting on some news that she just can't wait to share with him.

He suspects he knows what it is though. Earlier this afternoon their realtor commed him at his office to tell him that the house they had been in a bidding war over had just officially become there's. He was thrilled beyond measure, the house sits in a secluded community in Big Sur surrounded by trees and the ocean and close enough to Starfleet Headquarters and the Academy to remain convenient (especially if they get that hovercar he's been trying to convince her to buy) but far away enough to give them the separate home life they both crave. It's perfect, and they've both been a bit edgy the last few days hoping the other couple trying to outbid them finally gives up. Now it's their home and he can't wait to start planning the move.

He suspects the realtor commed Kathryn as well but from the set up to a big announcement, he has to assume that the realtor didn't tell her that she had already informed Chakotay as well. But after going through so much trouble to surprise him, the least he can do is bring the surprised reaction, fake or otherwise. Now he just has to sit back and wait.

The moment comes after they finish dessert, when her barely contained anticipation bubbles forth into a sly grin. "You were right earlier, you know."

"Oh?" Chakotay asks, still feigning ignorance. "About what?"

"I do have an ulterior motive for the romantic dinner. A surprise, actually."

"A surprise for me?"

"More like a surprise for both of us."

 _Yup, it's definitely the house_ , he thinks with a hint of triumph over reading her so well. "Both of us?" he teases. "I don't know how much I'd want to share my surprise. Especially if it's edible."

She laughs. "Definitely not edible, but there will be more than enough to share, don't worry." She pulls a PADD out from her lap. "But first you have to read this."

Chakotay's brow furrows as he takes the PADD. Is she breaking the news with a deed to the house? He looks down and instead discovers it's an incident report.

"Read it out loud, please," Kathryn requests. His confusion spikes but he complies.

"Incident report, Lieutenant Mike Ayala, Chief of Security, Starfleet Headquarters." He looks up to her still smiling face. "Kathryn, what-?"

"Go on, read," she encourages. His brow furrows further as he continues.

"At 0800 hours, a routine sensor sweep was done throughout Starfleet Headquarters to ensure that earlier maintenance of the sensor grid had been performed successfully. Scanners picked up an unauthorized lifesign originating from the office of Vice Admiral Kathryn Janeway. I commed Admiral Janeway and inquired of her status. She said she was alone in her office and I advised her to arm herself in the event that the lifesign was somehow cloaked and therefore hostile."

Chakotay paused his recitation to look up at his wife with concern. "An authorized lifesign? Kathryn, are you all right?"

She waves a dismissive hand. "I'm perfectly fine. Just keep reading."

Chakotay frowns a bit more, wondering how her being in potential danger could ever possibly be considered a good surprise for him, but keeps reading. "I arrived at her office at approximately 0802 hours. The admiral and I scanned the vicinity, noting that the lifesign seemed to be following her location as she moved about the office. After following a suspicion and performing an additional scan with a medical tricorder of the admiral, I determined the intruder alert to be a false alarm and the sensors in need of additional calibration. Unbeknownst to her at the time, Admiral Kathryn Janeway is expecting a baby…."

He tapers off there and rereads the last line in his head several times before it slowly begins to sink in. He looks up at Kathryn, who is outright grinning now.

"You didn't get to the part where it says that the sensors will have to be recalibrated to pick up the extra lifesign of Admiral Janeway's and Captain Chakotay's child."

"Our….our child?" he asks, his voice breathy with wonder. He watches Kathryn's features soften and her eyes mist over.

"Yes, Chakotay. Our child. I'm pregnant."

Pure joy wraps around Chakotay's heart and soul and has him out of his chair and gathering Kathryn in his arms before his brain even registers himself moving. He feels tears sting his eyes and he pulls back just enough to look at her.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes," Kathryn answers happily.

"With a baby?"

"I should hope so."

"I'm going to be a mother and you're going to be a father?" Kathryn laughs.

"Something like that."

"Oh, Kathryn!" He hugs her again, then pulls back to kiss her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, any part of her he can reach. Then he covers her midsection with his hand.

"There's a baby in there?"

"Yup, our little unauthorized lifesign." Chakotay gives a watery laugh, then reaches up to discover his face wet with tears. Kathryn reaches up to, wiping them away even as her own tears spill over her cheeks.

"I-I can't even express how happy this makes me, Kathryn," he says as he thumbs her tears away too. "I love you, so, so much."

"I love you too, Chakotay. With all my heart."

He kisses her again, deeper this time, and it doesn't take long for the kiss to heat up and spiral out. He sweeps her up off the chair and into his arms, carrying her into their bedroom while still peppering her with kisses. When they arrive at the bed, Chakotay lays her down with extreme gentleness, causing Kathryn to laugh.

"I won't break, you know." He grins.

"My child's in there, I don't want to jostle him or her around." Chakotay removes his jacket then stretches himself on top of her, kissing along her jaw and neck and across the top of her dress, eliciting soft sighs and moans that increase his desire tenfold. They remove clothes quickly, but before they go any further he hesitates. She breaks their kiss when she feels it.

"What's wrong?" Kathryn asks him, then can't help but tease. "Afraid you'll knock me up?"

Chakotay laughs, but his eyes gleam with worry. "It might sound ridiculous, but I'm afraid of hurting the baby."

Kathryn strokes his face lovingly. "You're sweet to worry, but you won't, I can assure you. All you'll do is make Mommy very, _very_ happy." Her voice drops an octave on the last few words and desire comes coursing back through Chakotay's veins, even as his heart swells at the word "mommy".

"I love you, Kathryn."

"I love you more," she answers sincerely. He doubts that's possible but he's honored nonetheless.

The impending new parents spend the rest of the night that way, lost in their love and passion for each other.

* * *

The next day, an excited Kathryn tugs along an equally elated Chakotay down the halls of Starfleet Medical towards the Doctor's office. She finds it hard to believe that she's back there so soon for the very reason she suspected she would return after that conversation prior to her honeymoon. It seems like their lives have finally come to a settling point, after over a decade of being together in incredibly extraordinary circumstances. Star-crossed lovers on a ship lost in the nether regions of space, now husband and wife with desk-bound careers expecting their first child. Kathryn never suspected she'd be so happy with anything so wonderfully ordinary.

They arrive outside the Doctor's door and give each other one last secretive grin before schooling their features and entering the office calmly.

"Good morning, Doctor," Kathryn calls out. The Doctor looks up from his work and stares in surprise.

"Admiral, Captain! What an unexpected pleasure!" He frowns in concern. "Is one of you ill?"

"Not at all, Doctor," Chakotay assures him. "Kathryn is just here for a checkup."

"A _voluntary_ checkup?!" the Doctor asks in pure disbelief. Kathryn nods.

"Do you have the time?"

"Um, oh yes, of course!" he sputters, thrown off by the novel turn of events. "Please, have a seat."

Kathryn hops onto the biobed and Chakotay goes to stand by her side as the Doctor pulls out his medical tricorder to begin scanning her.

"Any complaints?" the Doctor asks.

"None at all. I feel great."

"So you're really just here for a routine physical?" he responds, still not believing it.

"It would seem that way," Kathryn answers somewhat slyly. The Doctor clucks his tongue as he continues scanning her.

"For seven years in the most treacherous parts of the galaxy, you've fought me like a cat at a vet every time I tried to treat you. Now we're back in the relatively safe Alpha Quadrant and all of a sudden you're-,"

The Doctor's tirade cuts off suddenly as his medical wand floats over her midsection and he brings the tricorder closer to his face, as if not believing his own visual subroutines. He passes the wand over her abdomen again to be sure, then looks up at Kathryn, who gave in to her grin a long while ago.

"Admiral, did you know…you're-,"

"I think you just confirmed what we already suspected." The Doctor tosses his tricorder aside carelessly and envelops her in a fierce hug, laughing joyously. He pulls back and holds her at arm's length, grinning.

"Congratulations, Admiral. I'm so very happy for you."

"Hey, I helped too, you know," Chakotay teases from her side.

"Of course!" the Doctor exclaims, releasing Kathryn to give Chakotay an equally excitable embrace. "Congratulations, Captain."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Does anyone else know?" the Doctor asks after he releases Chakotay.

"Just Mike Ayala. He's the one who discovered I was pregnant, actually," Kathryn answers.

"Other than that, you're the first to know," Chakotay assures him. The Doctor beams with pride.

"Do you know how far along you are?" he asks Kathryn. She chuckles.

"I was hoping you could tell me."

"Oh right!" The Doctor seems to remember himself then and reclaims his medical tricorder, though his absolute delight in the situation hasn't dampened in the least. "Well, it looks like it's still very early, only about four weeks along. Any morning sickness?"

"Not really. Coffee has been making me a little sick to my stomach though."

"Yes, you're definitely going to have to cut back on that," he tells her while studying his readings, missing the glare she throws his way. "Any fatigue? Dizziness?"

"A little. And I seem to have trouble concentrating lately."

The Doctor smiles as he turns away to load a hypospray. "A common side effect of pregnancy, I assure you, what with a new little life inside trying to hog up all the resources." He turns towards her and holds up the hypospray. "This is the monthly dose of vitamins you'll need to keep you and your little one in tiptop shape." He administers the dosage. "I'll need you to come back every month for continual administration, and more than likely more frequently as your due date nears. And Admiral, these are appointments you definitely cannot miss."

"Don't worry, Doctor, she'll be here even if I have to carry her over in stasis," Chakotay assures him.

"Hey!" Kathryn protests good-naturedly. "I know I have a bad reputation for taking care of myself, but can't I get a little benefit of the doubt for my child?"

"Only time will tell," the Doctor quips, then gets back to business. "It's a little early to expect morning sickness, with some expectant mothers it doesn't kick in until around the sixth week or so. If that happens, feel free to stop by before your next scheduled appointment so that I may give you something to relieve it. Other than that, you need plenty of fluids, lots of rest, and _very_ little coffee."

Kathryn groans.

"And what you do drink has to be decaf."

Kathryn groans even louder. Chakotay chuckles.

"Come on, honey, it's not like he's just sentenced you to your death."

"He may as well have," Kathryn grumbles. The Doctor grins.

"Well, what I have for you next will be sure to cheer you up." He pulls out a device similar to a tricorder but more complex looking. He hovers it over Kathryn's midsection and a low, pulsing sound fills the room.

"Is that-?" Chakotay starts to ask in wonder.

The Doctor nods. "Your child's very healthy sounding heartbeat."

Kathryn looks over at Chakotay, who is already staring at her in amazement, and the tears she finds lining his eyes fill her own as the sound of her child's heart pounding rhythmically quickly takes the grand prize for the most beautiful sound she's ever heard in her life.

"Would you like to know the gender?" the Doctor asks softly, loathe to break this reverential moment for the new parents. Kathryn's curiosity piques immediately, but she looks over at Chakotay before she answers. She wants to know, but if he doesn't she will somewhat begrudgingly oblige him. He smiles at her.

"You'll be wheedling for the next eight months if we don't find out today, won't you?" he teases. She grins back.

"You know me too well." Chakotay shakes his head good-naturedly and turns to the Doctor.

"We'd like to know, if you please." The Doctor grins.

"In eight months, you'll have a very healthy and undoubtedly very beautiful baby girl."

Kathryn reaches out for Chakotay's hand and squeezes it, too emotionally overjoyed to comment. Chakotay squeezes her hand right back and lets out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

"I've always wanted a little girl." Kathryn's mind conjures up pictures of freckle-faced little girls again as Chakotay wraps an arm around her and pulls her into his side, where she snuggles happily. The Doctor smiles fondly at the pair.

"Well, I won't contest for a spot as godfather since I've already had that honor with Miral, but I do have a plethora of name suggestions, all of which I'm sure you won't be able to resist." Kathryn and Chakotay exchange amused looks.

"And we'd love to hear them, Doctor," Kathryn assures him. "Just don't be offended if we end up going with a family name instead."

"Ah yes, of course," he concedes, then claps his hands together excitedly. "So, when do we get to inform the rest of the crew?"

Chakotay's eyebrows shoot up. "We?"

"You," the Doctor corrects himself. "When will _you_ get to inform the rest of the crew?" Kathryn grins.

"As a matter of fact, Chakotay and I have another little surprise. We bought a house just outside of San Francisco."

"Oh, marvelous!" the Doctor cries. "I trust now you'll want to move in right away to prepare for the baby."

"That's the plan," Chakotay confirms. "And as soon as we do we'll have a big housewarming party. I'm sure all Earth-bound crew will more than likely attend. We were planning on telling them then."

"You think you can keep a secret until then?" Kathryn asks suspiciously, wary of the Doctor's renowned big holographic mouth. He scoffs, offended nonetheless.

"Why of course I can, Admiral! You know you can trust me with anything that falls under the Doctor/Patient confidentiality law. Besides," he adds a tad bitterly, "there's no getting around these damn confidentiality subroutines anyway."

Kathryn pats his arm patiently. "Don't worry, Doctor, you won't have to sit on the secret for long. We're planning on moving in this week before the fall term at the Academy begins. If all goes according to plan, we could have the party by next Friday and you'll be free to discuss potential baby names with the entire crew.

The Doctor beams. "I'm looking forward to it." He puts a hand on both their shoulders. "And again, my sincerest congratulations to you both. I can't think of anyone else in the world who deserve more happiness than the two of you."

Kathryn and Chakotay lean in to hug either side of the Doctor, and Kathryn once again marvels how fond she's become of the holographic being who, when she met him eleven years ago, was little more than a talking set of subroutines to her. How lucky she is to have been proven so wrong.

They bid the Doctor a fond farewell and walk hand in hand back home, talking animatedly and spinning their hopes and dreams for a family-filled future.

* * *

The house, when completely moved into, is heavenly.

Furnished in rich, dark oaks and with plenty of large open windows, it allows for beautiful vistas of the Pacific on one side and the lush greenery on the other. There is a deck and a large backyard perfect for entertaining, and the two-story home provides a large living room that Kathryn and Chakotay have filled with plush and inviting furniture. The whole house is coated in warm and inviting colors, textures, and decorations, giving what could be a cold, opulent house a soft and homey feel, perfect for the largest of parties or the most intimate of family gatherings.

The party they are having now is in no way small, but still very intimate. Their home is filled with most of their former _Voyager_ crew as well as a few family members and other friends. Even Neelix has made his appearance via comm again, and the rest of the guests mill about, admiring their former commanding officers' new abode and reminiscing and laughing and genuinely enjoying being reunited for yet another a happy occasion in so many months. Chakotay grins to himself as he takes a sip of his champagne, amused that no one knows of the happiest occasion yet.

"Okay, out with it, Old Man," B'Elanna suddenly sounds from behind him as she comes to stand by his side. He's soon flanked by Tom on his other side.

"What are you talking about?" Chakotay asks as innocently as he can.

"All night long you've been grinning like Neelix would after he found fresh supplies of leola root, and I'm starting to suspect it's not just about the house. So out with it. What's got you so giddy?"

"Can't a guy just be happy about his new home with his wife?" he asks her, taking another sip to downplay the smile he just can't get rid of.

"Well, I'll admit it's a very nice house, Chakotay," B'Elanna concedes, "but it's not split-your-face-open-you're-so-happy nice. What's the big secret?"

"Aw come on, B'Elanna," Tom cuts in. "If Chakotay has something that he wants to tell us, I'm sure he will soon. No sense in wheedling him about it. He gets enough of that from the Admiral."

"Whose side are you on?" B'Elanna demands of her husband, laying a hand on her slightly more rounded belly. Chakotay looks down and suddenly recalls how far along in her second pregnancy she is. With all that's gone on in the past few months that new development kept slipping his mind. Now it serves as a wonderful reminder that that'll be his own wife in a few short months. A wide smile steals across his face again before he can help himself.

"Ah! There it is again!" B'Elanna cries. "Come on, Chakotay, spill the beans, as Tom would say!"

"B'Elanna, leave the poor guy alone," Tom tells her gently. "He's entitled to his secrets as long as they're the happy kind." B'Elanna clucks her tongue in disdain.

"I'm starting to regret him making you his first officer," she says. "You're far too damn loyal now."

"What can I say?" Tom replies as he claps a hand on Chakotay's shoulder. "I learned from the best."

"Flattery won't get the secret out of me, Tom," Chakotay teases.

"Ah! But it did get you to admit there is a secret to tell," Tom shoots back smugly. Chakotay pauses and frowns.

"Damn, you're good." Tom grins proudly.

"It's a gift," he says with a shrug then takes a swig of his champagne. "So I trust we'll hear about this secret eventually though, right? I mean, we are your best friends, after all."

"Best friends who've saved your life on more than one occasion," B'Elanna points out.

"And your wife's life," Tom adds. "Not to mention all those years of faithful service."

"Unflappable devotion…"

"Hilarious jokes and stories…"

"All right, all right," Chakotay gives in, holding his hands up in surrender. He scans the room and immediately catches Kathryn's eye from her place by the staircase where she had been conversing with Samantha Wildman and her husband. Chakotay almost imperceptibly nods towards the couple in his company and she grins knowingly then nods her head and excuses herself from Samantha and Gres to make her way to the center of the room. Before the party they had agreed that if any of the more perceptive members of their _Voyager_ family (namely Tom and B'Elanna) caught on to the crackle of suspense only a secret can project, they would make the announcement soon after. Chakotay lets his dimples show without reserve as he turns his attention back to his companions.

"Look, if you'll help Kathryn and me quiet everyone down, I promise we'll put you out of your misery." Knowing they'll comply, he begins weaving his way through the crowd to join his wife. By the time he gets there, most people have turned their attention to them thanks to Tom and B'Elanna's efforts, but he grabs a fork and begins clinking his glass of champagne nonetheless.

"If the Admiral and I can steal your attention for one second please," he calls. The rest of the room turns towards their former commanding officers, even Neelix with a helpful twisting of the comm unit on the table by Naomi. A hush falls over the room.

"Thank you. First of all, Kathryn and I would like to thank you for coming to celebrate this joyous occasion with us so soon after celebrating an even more joyous occasion only a few short weeks ago. I promise we'll stop monopolizing the _Voyager_ social calendar very soon."

The room chuckles, and Chakotay takes the momentary pause in his speech to look at Kathryn. He asks silently if she'd rather make the announcement, but she nods her encouragement at him to continue. He happily obliges.

"But not before we make this one more announcement." He pauses to take in the curious looks of all their friends save for the knowing faces of The Doctor, Gretchen, Phoebe, and Mike Ayala. He relishes this moment before finally breaking the suspense. "Kathryn and I are expecting a baby."

A loud raucous erupts from the group so suddenly that it startles even him, and he jumps a bit closer to Kathryn. He hears shouts and whistles and a few rounds of "I knew its" go through the crowd, then a surge of people come forward to offer their congratulations. Hugs are exchanged, kisses are received, standard questions are asked, and even pieces of advice are already given as their unique family shares in this wonderful moment in his and Kathryn's life.

"So is it a boy or a girl?" a Delaney sister shouts over the din, though Chakotay would never be able to tell anyone which one it was. The question has the room almost completely silent again and he sees Kathryn grin.

"We're having a little girl," she answers loudly, and another chorus of whoops and aww's follow. Though he wants to stay by her side, Chakotay and Kathryn are soon separated as he is pulled away by the men to receive hearty pats on the back while she is ambushed by every mother in attendance with questions about how she's feeling and plans for the nursery. They spend the next couple of hours that way, making the rounds to receive the sincere well wishes of their loved ones.

By the time it's all over though and the last guest has transported home, Chakotay is extremely grateful for the quiet once again. He surveys the living area, littered with champagne glasses, empty plates, and scattered cutlery. He sighs, tempted to take care of it all tonight, but then he looks through the large floor-to-ceiling windows that leads out to the back of the house and sees a sight far more tempting. Kathryn is leaning against the railing at the end of the deck, staring at the stars twinkling on the Pacific. Ignoring the disaster area that is their living room, he goes to join her.

"So this is where Starfleet admirals sneak off to avoid cleaning up after their own party," he teases when he gets to her side. She graces him with that half grin he loves.

"I'm actually very busy now making your child," she says, turning to him and resting a hand on her still flat belly. "Seems unfair that you expect me to clean up as well."

"Oh of course," he answers mock seriously. "How horrendous of me. Please continue with your baby making."

"I believe I shall," she responds royally, then turns her attention back to the stars and the ocean. Chakotay takes the time to admire her, grateful for the moments when a certain look or action from her can remind him of how beautiful she is all over again. A pleasant warmth rushes through him at the thought of being loved by this amazing woman, and how their love has created a creature that will no doubt be equally as wonderful.

Chakotay steps up behind Kathryn and wraps his arms carefully around her middle, one palm lying flat across where he approximates the baby is. She, in turn, leans back against his chest and covers his arms with her own.

"I love you, Kathryn," he says close to her ear, a lump forming in his throat as he gently rubs her abdomen. "I love both of you, so very, very much."

"I love you too, Chakotay," she responds, voice thick. "And I'm so happy. I never thought I could be this happy, not after everything. But I am. And it's because of you. You and this life we've built together. And this life we've made together." She rests one of her hands on top of his as they continue to caress their unborn baby.

"I never thought I could be this happy either, Kathryn. My whole life I never have been, until I met you. You're still my peace, and you always will be. And I can't wait to see what life has in store for us."

"Nothing as wild as the Delta Quadrant, I'm sure," she jokes.

"Probably not," he concedes with a chuckle. "But I wouldn't trade all the new adventures in the galaxy for one moment here with you and our new family."

"Neither would I," she assures him, snuggling further into his embrace. "Did I mention that I love you?"

"Only once today," he quips.

"How terrible of me."

"I'm inclined to agree." She tilts her head back to look up at him.

"I should tell you much more often."

"No time like the present."

"I love you, Chakotay."

"I love you more, Kathryn." He bends his head down to kiss her softly and sweetly beneath the starlit sky. When they part, she leans back against him again and he hears her sigh in contentment. He rests his chin on top of her head as he gazes out into the ocean along with her, his arms still wrapped tightly around her and their baby.

In this moment, as Chakotay stands on the deck of his beautiful new home, holding everything he'll ever want and need in his life tightly in his arms, his mind flashes quickly through the journey that has been his life. All the loss, all the trials and misdirection and horrendous suffering he's ever been through, all leading to this simple little moment in time with this woman he would have otherwise never met had his life not taken all the twists and turns that it had.

Suddenly with perfectly clarity he understands how grateful he is for all those moments, painful though they may be, because he wouldn't trade being here for anything. He would go through it all, again and again, if the results would mean ending up here holding Kathryn Janeway in his arms and calling her his wife and the mother of his daughter.

He would choose her every time.


	5. Epilogue

Chakotay stands in his kitchen, cutting up some Talaxian tomatoes fresh from the garden to make a salad, when he suddenly pauses. He could have sworn he heard a thumping that had nothing to do with his knife hitting the cutting board. He listens closely, but when he hears nothing he resumes his cutting.

Seconds later it sounds again, louder this time, and definitely less rhythmic than his vegetable chopping. He puts the knife down and goes to the kitchen door to peek inside the living room.

He's just in time to see his two-year-old daughter push aside the (supposedly) child-proof gate separating the den from the living room and make a beeline for her mother, who is asleep and completely unguarded on the sofa. Chakotay races across the other side of the living room, intercepting her midair seconds before she could hurl herself onto Kathryn's sleeping form. He ushers the giggling toddler quickly into the kitchen, glancing back at his wife and grateful that she remains undisturbed. He settles his daughter onto the kitchen floor and bends down to her level.

"Taya Gretchen Janeway," he says, adopting his best "displeased father" tone, " _you_ are supposed to be napping."

"I wasn't tired anymore," she states definitively. "And after my nap, I always play with Mommy."

"Mommy is sleeping, you know you're not supposed to wake her up, and you're definitely not supposed to jump on her."

"Because of Amal and Edward?" she asks, surprising Chakotay by referring to the names he and Kathryn had just settled on only yesterday. Their twin boys are due in only two months and they had been tossing out many names in front of Taya for a while now, yet she was able to pick up on the two they picked. It strikes him again how intelligent and perceptive she is. He softens at the thought.

"Yes, because of Amal and Edward, your little brothers. They're inside Mommy right now, so we have to be careful with her until they come out. You wouldn't want to hurt all three of them, would you?"

"No, I guess not," Taya agrees. "But why does Mommy sleep so much?"

"Because," Chakotay says as he scoops her up into his arms and sits on a chair at the kitchen table before settling her into his lap, "the babies take up a lot of her energy. Sleeping helps her get it back."

"Will she sleep that much after the babies come?"

"I seriously doubt it," Chakotay answers mirthfully, thinking back to all the sleepless nights his daughter had given them as a baby. Taya pauses and seems to be mulling over another thought in her head, from the way her little brows furrow and her lips form into a thin line. Chakotay smiles fondly as he watches her. She may have gotten his colors, with her dark hair, brown eyes, and slightly tanned skin, but her shapes were all Kathryn, from the big almond shape to her eyes to her small nose and full, pouty lips. He can already tell she's going to be a great beauty just like her mother, a thought that fills him with both pride and a hint of fear. Boys will coming knocking far too soon for his liking, he's sure…

"How did the babies get in there?" Taya asks suddenly, breaking his reverie. "And how do they get out?"

Chakotay panics for a second and looks away, sure that even for all her extremely advanced intelligence, _that_ is definitely a conversation she is not ready to have. He coughs and sputters a bit.

"I'll tell you when you're older," he says as he sets her back down to her feet. "Right now, you are going back to the den where you belong and watch some of Uncle Tom's holovideos while you let Mommy rest. I'm sure she'll play with you when she wakes up. And I don't want to see you escaping either, you know that's a big no-no," he admonishes. He takes her hand, signals to stay quiet with a finger to his lips, and leads them quietly out of the kitchen, across the living room, and to the den, where he shuts the door behind them and settles her in front of the screen with an ancient twentieth century cartoon Tom has provided for them about a princess falling in love with a beast of some sort.

"Now stay here until I finish preparing dinner, then I promise I'll come play with you until Mommy wakes up."

"Uh huh," Taya responds absent-mindedly, already engrossed in the holovideo. Chakotay sighs with relief, activates the comm unit that'll let him monitor her from the kitchen, and exits the den, shutting the door to block out the sound of the rather lively music coming from the screen. He's crossing back to the kitchen when he sees Kathryn stir.

"Chakotay," she mumbles sleepily, then opens her eyes and looks up from the sofa to see him standing above her.

"I'm sorry, did we wake you?" he asks. She shakes her head and begins to sit up, though her effort is slow and difficult what with her very rotund middle hindering her progress. Chakotay sits down next to her and helps her into a sitting position.

"What time is it?" she asks with a yawn.

"Just after 1800."

"What?" she asks with disbelief. "I swear I meant to close my eyes for only a second. Was Taya looking for me?"

"She was," Chakotay confirms. "You nearly got pummeled by her flight efforts in your sleep." Kathryn chuckles.

"Ever our little bird," she says, and Chakotay laughs too at the nickname that is both a play on what Kathryn's father used to call her and a reference to their daughter's wild spirit. It seems like ever since Taya learned how to walk, their rambunctious little offspring has known no fear, leaping out of any crib or bed they build for her, and off of railings, and into previously unexplored terrain of their backyard. She's a sweet and caring little girl, but the curiosity and adventurous spirit she inherited from both of them makes it a challenge to keep up with her.

Chakotay rests a hand on Kathryn's swollen middle. "I wonder if these two will prove to be as challenging."

"If they way they roll around in there is any indication, we're definitely going to have a work cut out for us," Kathryn warns and Chakotay grins excitedly at the prospect. This pregnancy had caught them by surprise seven months back, and even more by surprise when they discovered it was twins, but Chakotay has always wanted a big family. And even if their sons prove to be their last children, he's incredibly grateful to get to experience being a father to both a daughter and sons. He kisses his wife for being the harbinger of that great gift and stands up.

"I'm going to go finish dinner," he tells her. "Taya should be sufficiently distracted with those ancient films Tom has so aptly provided. Care to finish your nap?"

"Actually, I'm quite rested now," Kathryn answers with a catlike stretch. "Besides, your sons are wide awake now too. I think I'll go spend my afternoon time with Taya before dinner. Unless you need help cooking."

Chakotay makes a sound somewhere between a scoff and a laugh, but quickly tries to cover it. "Um, the offer is…generous, Kathryn, but I'm sure I can manage."

Kathryn swats at him with a playful glare on her face as he twists away and laughs. "I'll have you know I have it on good authority that my cooking has improved quite a lot in recent years," she says imperiously.

"On whose authority? Taya's? The girl's an airlock, she sucks up everything you put in front of her."

"Fine, insult the heavily pregnant woman," Kathryn mock sulks. "It's not like she's busy forming two more perfect offspring for you to enjoy in a few months." Chakotay chuckles.

"Fair enough." He bends down to kiss her again, then takes a gentle hold of her elbows to help her off of the sofa. Kathryn stands and groans, placing her hands on her lower back.

"Ugh," she complains, "carrying around these two is doing quite the number on my back."

"Is that a not-so-subtle hint that you would like a massage later?"

"I shouldn't even have to hint, you should just offer," she teases.

"Very true. I'll tell you what," he wraps his arms around her and pulls her as close as her very pregnant belly will allow, "why don't you go play with Taya while I finish dinner, then we'll all go take a soak in the hot tub out on the deck afterwards?"

"Better yet, why don't we take a little walk out onto the beach?" Kathryn counters. "It'll tire Taya out for bed, then you and I can enjoy our own little private soak in the bubble bath in our room." Delicious images immediately come to Chakotay's mind as he takes in his wife's flirty grin and warm hands stroking his back. He pecks her on the lips.

"You always have been the smarter one," he tells her. She laughs as she disentangles herself from his embrace and heads towards the den.

"And don't you forget it," she tosses over her shoulder, then with a wink she exits to go play with their daughter. Chakotay grins after her then leaves to the kitchen to finish cooking.

After dinner, they change, dress Taya in her little swimsuit, pack a few snacks and some toys, and walk the short distance to the beach access near their home. It isn't incredibly late, but the beach is nearly empty of people and the sun is sitting low in the horizon, ready to set in the next hour or so. Taya immediately sets off to explore the vicinity, warned to stay in sight of her parents. Chakotay helps Kathryn settle down on top of a beach blanket and makes her comfortable, surrounding her with snacks and sunblock and plenty of reading material, then with her encouragement goes to play with his daughter.

"Look Daddy," Taya cries as she comes running up to Chakotay with her hands cupped in front of her. They have been wading near the shoreline for a while now looking for interesting shells, and it seems that she has found a treasure trove.

"What is it, Little Bird?" he asks as he squats down to her level. She holds out her hands to reveal five shells.

"It's us," she says proudly, transferring all the shells to her one little hand to be free to point with this other. "This one is me because it's light and dark brown. This one is you because it has all those squiggly lines, kind of like your tattoo. And this one is Mommy, because it's red and pretty."

Chakotay grins lovingly at his daughter's wonderful imagination and love of nature, reminding him of a wonderful mix of his archeological interests and her mother's scientific eye. He points to the two littlest shells. "And who are these?" he asks, even though he knows the answer.

"They're the new babies, silly!" Taya tells him with a giggle. "I don't know what they look like yet, so I just picked two little shells because you said they're really small right now."

"It looks like you have one very happy little shell family," Chakotay tells her. She smiles a crooked grin that squeezes his heart.

"And they all love each other, just like we do." Chakotay pulls his daughter to him and kisses her soft, olive cheek.

"You're definitely right about that. Come on, let's go show your mother your discovery."

"Okay!" Taya agrees readily, then takes off in a sprint towards Kathryn reclining on the blanket a few yards away. By the time Chakotay catches up, she's already sitting by his wife's side and regaling her with the shell family description. Kathryn seems equally as touched, then suggests Taya make a sand castle home for them to live in and be just as happy as they all are. Taya agrees, then grabs the little toy bucket and shovel they've brought for that purpose. She settles down in the sand next to the blanket and gets to work.

"Need any help?" Chakotay asks.

"I think I can manage, Daddy, thank you," Taya answers somewhat imperiously, concentrating deeply as she flips the bucket over and begins sculpting the first tower of the sand home. Chakotay chuckles and settles down next to Kathryn.

"Stubborn as her mother, I see," he teases, prompting an elbow nudge to his ribs from her.

"I like to think of it more as ferociously determined," she quips, leaning back on her elbows to enjoy the light warmth the setting sun. Chakotay lies down next to her, propping himself on his side to watch her and the sunset simultaneously.

"Getting cold?" he asks when he notices the temperature has dropped a bit.

"Not at all," Kathryn answers. "It's perfect out here. The sky is beautiful."

"Not half as beautiful as you," he tells her lovingly. Kathryn smirks even as he sees a slight blush color her cheeks.

"Even if I'm the size of a type one shuttle craft?" Chakotay chuckles and rests his hands on her pregnant belly.

"You could gain another five hundred kilos and you'd still be the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen."

"You obviously haven't looked at B'Elanna or Seven recently," Kathryn teases, but Chakotay shakes his head.

"Oh I have, and there's no comparison. You're beautiful, Kathryn, inside and out. Don't ever think otherwise." He leans in and kisses her tenderly, pouring in all the love he'll have for her forever. When he pulls away, he sees it reflected back at him in her eyes.

"You're not so bad yourself," she tells him, then rests her hand atop of the one he still has on her stomach, "and I'm sure your sons will be equally as handsome."

"Well since our daughter turned out just as beautiful as her mother, I'm inclined to agree." They both look over at Taya, who's already managed to construct quite the impressive sandcastle, and is now meticulously adding designs for the shell version of their family.

"It's incredible," Chakotay muses more to himself.

"It is pretty amazing how she's always been so good with her hands, even this young," Kathryn agrees.

"Well, that too," he concedes, staring out at the sunset as he speaks, "but I was actually thinking about how much I love her. It's-," he inhales deeply, "I can hardly believe it sometimes. I love you so much I thought my heart would explode if I tried to love another. But my love for her doesn't even touch what I feel for you, and it's just as intense. And I already feel the same amount of love for the boys. It's just…"

He cuts off when he looks over at his wife, staring at him intently. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just getting over-sentimental in my old age."

"No," Kathryn protests, squeezes his hand. "I know exactly how you feel. It's overwhelming at times, how much I can love all of you simultaneously. Overwhelming and wonderful." Chakotay nods in agreement.

"It just hits me all over again sometimes, how lucky I am too feel so much, how much of it is so good. Especially after being so angry for so long."

"You've come a long way from that man, Chakotay," she tells him softly.

"Thanks to you," he replies. "You're my peace, Kathryn. I'm grateful for that every day."

"And you're mine. And I still can't imagine a day without you." Chakotay grins, gazing adoringly at this wonderful woman who he has the privilege of sharing his life with, who has his two sons inside of her while their lovely daughter plays beside them and their gorgeous house sits nearby. Their careers are steadfast but challenging, and they still get to go exploring the stars they love so much on diplomatic missions every now and then. He can't imagine a more ridiculously perfect life even if he tried, and all he can think after their years of suffering and crazy adventures is that it's about damn time. He kisses the woman who he holds responsible for all his happiness. His wife. His Kathryn. When he pulls back he looks deep into her clear blue eyes.

"You won't have to imagine a day without me, not if I can help it," he tells her sincerely. She smiles at him.

"You'll be with me?" she asks, and Chakotay pauses to think back on all the times she's asked him that question, all the way back to the very first time when they were still in the Delta Quadrant, when they were still only captain and first officer at worst and very dear friends at best. Time shifts and bends around him, carrying him through all the moments, both good and bad, that have led them to this very perfect moment in their lives together. He gives her the answer she expects, and the only one he can give because it's true, and it'll be true in this and any lifetime and beyond.

"Always."

* * *

Well that's all she wrote, folks! I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Reviews are always greatly appreciated! Thank you so much! :)


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